Now, Your Just Pissing Me Off.

An open rant to all those unfortunate people and CATS that have pissed me off this week.

Let's begin with son#1.

I love you, yesterday I really didn't like you, but I still love you. You know how to press my buttons, you do. But, don't act all innocent and flip the situation when you know......you are wrong. You see me working.........you are employed by me. You have been for? Hmmmm 2 years, right? So get up and help me. You know? Do your job and not play on MY computer.......on my time! And, to hell with your hair! Your hair does not "sell" my wonderfully, tasty lunches nor catered dinners! Your hair only causes me to run late, get stressed out and rush! When I rush, things do not get done right. Simple. When I get stressed out because I have to rush, I get ugly!

Since we're on a food roll.........servers/bartenders/etc..... at places where I frequent.

I know you do not know that I own a Caffe`nor that I am a professional chef nor that I sold wine for many years unless I was to tell you all this.....but, please don't argue with me. When I go out to eat, I like service. No, I don't mean that you should hang around me, spoon feed me, or sweep away my bread crumbs after each bite........but just acknowledge me and don't cop an attitude. Also, please, with sugar on top, don't take away my food while I am still eating it. Please? You just asked me if I was "still working on it" and I said Y E S. So what do you do? Grab my salad and take it away, as I am still eating it! What the hell? Either you need to hone up on your listening skills or invest in a mega pack of Q-tips to clean your ears out!

And when I complain about a glass a wine? I am really not whining (hehehe). I mean, for real, it's bad. It's been open waaaay toooo long, is totally oxidized and? Basically, tastes like CACA. Just go open another bottle and pour me a new glass. Don't argue with me and think you are the new, up and coming Wine Spectator reviewer. Please! You have barely made 21 and your think you are a somollier........please!

Can't complain about any of my customers because of late, they have been on their best behavior.

Drivers? Especially TOURISTS?! Go home! Read directions........look at the signs that indicate a one way street and acknowledge them.....You're going the wrong way! Don't start honking at me, calling me names, flipping me off because you haven't figured out that YOU are going the wrong way! Read!

Cats!
Everytime I get nice and comfortable and turn on my computer, you have to fight. I swear there is a cat fight outside my window constantly. I think I am going to leave the sprinkler on so you will not disrupt, interrupt my ME time.

Sweetie: No, it's not acceptable to be "fashionably late" to a wedding. The invitation clearly states 4:00. It's not OK to show up at 4:20. How do I know this, he asks? Again......I have catered many weddings, even got married once myself and once the mother of the bride is seated, it's done. No, your theory that since the ceremony is being held in someone's backyard vs. a Church, still does not make it ok to be "fashionably late". Just be on time. And if memory serves me right, there will be no basketball game on to divert your attention.

Boyz Father: I will give you some credit for at least trying to make time with your kids and supporting (without minimizing) a few decisions I have had to make. Thank you! But you cheap motherfucker! You know Boy#1 is going to have his wisdom teeth pulled on Friday. You know your part of this bill is over $600. I have even given you an extra 30 days to cough up this chump change, (I am being completely sarcastic.....it isn't chump change) but you are most certainly not going to flake out on your share of their automobile insurance. Damn!!!!!!!

The policy is up for renewal at the end of the month. You agreed, in our settlement meeting, that you would help finance this. Now you're trying your damnest to back out? Sorry! You lose! You signed an agreement and it is going to stick. I am going to MAKE it stick! You have gotten away with too much for way tooooo long. I mean really?! What makes you think that I should be footing the bill for everything? And? Father of the year? You have the balls to ask that I NOT repeat this to anyone because it might make you look bad. You mean......I should lie? I should tell everyone that you are constantly there supporting these kids until the very end? Yeah, Happy Father's Day, asshole!

Now that I have puked out all of my nastiness and ugliness, on the flip side.......I haven't been feeling any pain since Monday! Yes! 3 days, and catering, without any pain! This is because of a new (not really) simple, little device that I have been sleeping with for the last three nights! A rolled up towel, placed under my neck! I used to do this but somehow, and I don't know why, stopped. Forget the traction, my "memory foam" pillow, etc........the simplest, little technique, figured out all by lonesome, has helped me immensly! And it's cheap, too!

Be safe, all! Ciao!
Angie