I just posted about "jinxing" something...but, I have been feeling too good to even let my petty superstions get the best of me. The last couple of days have just been great. First task of the day didn't seem like I would complete and I almost broke out into tears, but the situation flipped and turned out very well.
I had a scheduled appointment with my attorney this morning. Mediation begins next Thursday and our agenda was to focus on what I wanted to accomplish through this mess of a divorce. I have been very honest and up-front about everything. I am the respondent in this matter.....meaning.....he filed first, laced HIS papers with utter lies (and hurt) and I have to respond to all of this. I have nothing to hide...and there are only two reasons for divorce in California......Irreconciable Differences (us) or Incurable Insanity....( I seriously was tempted, seriously).
She was a half an hour late. She forgot about our appointment and I am sitting there wondering (actually feeling sorry for myself) Why? Why am I so unimportant that this woman whom I have known for years, our children went to Catholic School together years ago, worked on an auction project together.......why? Why would she forget me? This is important to me and I pay you $300.00 an hour to handle this.......why?
Her "assistant" quit on her and her calendar is all jacked up.......yadda, yadda, yadda......ok....forgiven. She showed up and we did it. She apologized, the bill will definitely be reduced....off to next week.
I get to petition the Family Court, and will definitely be granted mandetory couseling for soon to be ex. He has to also attend parenting classes, even this late in the game. Let's see.....boy#1 will be 19 in less than two weeks and said minor (boy#2) will be 17 in about 4 months. It's late, this I know, but it will help me. It will help us to co-exist, communicate and not act like "jack-offs" (said minors words) at school events, graduations, maybe weddings etc........Unfortunately, this man and I will be tied together, even through a divorce, for life. We share boyz.
I feel this is very good. We teach our kids not to fight, share, get along and then they see their "parents" act like "jack-offs." This is going to be a very positive thing. And the best part? He can no longer blame me. The court appointed therapist is not so forgiving of parents who blame the other parent for their own lack of involvement, etc........ They have to own up and take responsibility.
Yes, I feel good. I just wish he would have just heard me. Why? Seriously, why does a third party have to tell this man what he needs to do? I know there is such a thing as paternal instincts. My dad has them, most definitely. Sweetie is so active in his grown, adult childrens' lives and grand kids. I know there is such a thing. But, ex-man......continually blames me for his lack of paternal instincts or involvement.
I paid my tuition today.........I am definitely going back to school.....Ex-man may have to pay half of it due to the number of years we were legally married and based on the fact that he received an education and continually prevented me from completing mine. All together different story on it's own.............but he may have to cough up some cash.
The house? Well, that's a big one and we'll see. There is a game plan there, but we will see. More on that next week.
I saw my counselor earlier this evening. Looks like I may only get to see her a few more times.........next week after mediation and maybe the following week. But, because I am not crazy, in the literal sense and things are going well, she may have to cut me off......at least until the next flare up. I will miss her; she did help me.
That is basically all I really have to rant about today.
Oh!!!!!!! You gotta see this one...........Check out the clown. The clown would be our "president". He truely suffers from the white man's disease.
http://www.news10.net/video/featured-video.aspx (click on the first video)
Watching this on last nights news? Actually, I watch a different channel but could not find the video on their web site, Boy#2, Sweetie and I laughed our butts off! Too funny!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Relaxaion........AHHHHHH
I just love this time of day. Early mornings when I have my tripple shot, soy mocha, the kids have left for school, I just finished talking with my mother on the phone and can just kick back for a few seconds before I start getting ready for work. (Or hobby.....depending on your view).
AAHHHHHHH Silence. Peacefulness. Relaxation.
The only sound I hear is my keyboard clicking away. I just love this time of day.
I started physical therapy yesterday and my pain has really decreased. They put me in "traction." Traction is a trip. I know this was only my first visit, but I really feel it is working. I slept very well last night and did not wake up wincing in pain. My arm never tingled all night. Now, Mr. Therapist is trying to get my medical insurance to pay for my own "traction" device for home use. Cool. I just hope no one thinks it's some kinda bondage, S&M thing..........
Not only has my pain subsided, drama has subsided as well......Ah shit! Now I just jinxed myself. I am very superstitious and constantly have to remind myself that when all is good? Shut up! Don't jinx it in anyway, shape or form. Just go with it.
Yes, the drama has subsided........very peacefull evening. And the best part? Lakers got their asses kicked! Maybe a little humble pie is what might wipe that smart ass, smirk from Kobe's face!
Hate the Lakers! I guess I will pull for that other Northern California team.....Golden State Warriors.........since the King's had no glimmer of hope this year. In the Eastern Division........Go Bulls!!!!!
Cioa! Angie
AAHHHHHHH Silence. Peacefulness. Relaxation.
The only sound I hear is my keyboard clicking away. I just love this time of day.
I started physical therapy yesterday and my pain has really decreased. They put me in "traction." Traction is a trip. I know this was only my first visit, but I really feel it is working. I slept very well last night and did not wake up wincing in pain. My arm never tingled all night. Now, Mr. Therapist is trying to get my medical insurance to pay for my own "traction" device for home use. Cool. I just hope no one thinks it's some kinda bondage, S&M thing..........
Not only has my pain subsided, drama has subsided as well......Ah shit! Now I just jinxed myself. I am very superstitious and constantly have to remind myself that when all is good? Shut up! Don't jinx it in anyway, shape or form. Just go with it.
Yes, the drama has subsided........very peacefull evening. And the best part? Lakers got their asses kicked! Maybe a little humble pie is what might wipe that smart ass, smirk from Kobe's face!
Hate the Lakers! I guess I will pull for that other Northern California team.....Golden State Warriors.........since the King's had no glimmer of hope this year. In the Eastern Division........Go Bulls!!!!!
Cioa! Angie
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Ah.........First Loves
Last year about this time, older boy met some strega (witch) on line. I have heard so many versions of how they met, that it truely no longer matters. What matters is? I wish he would not have ever met her at all. I have spoke briefly about her in a few posts...she just happened to come up, but nothing I mentioned was in great detail.
Too make a long story short.......they broke up a few months ago and I was elated!!!!
She was a complete nut job.....and I mean certifiable. And in someways..........many ways......I actually feel sorry for her. I felt and still feel that the best thing her parents could ever do for this girl is to get her some much needed help. I am puting her level of instability into a category all of it's own. She is seriously a threat to herself and those around her and I am not exagerrating.
She is cunning, calculating, actually has been admitted for the mandatory 72 hour observasion our state sometimes mandates and she's a "cutter." http://www.vinland.org/scamp/institute/dsh.html
None of the above mentioned "red flags" warranted any "flight" response from my son. I mean, they were not an issue. This was his first, true love.
Wow! As the butt-in-at-every-chance mother that I am, I begged, I pleaded, I provided literature on the truely mentally ill.....but nothing. No avail. My whole family did the same. His father, however, said I was "coddling."
My boy's attitude changed for the worse.....fighting constantly with his brother, me, whomever........I seriously did not like this young man.......but what could I have done? I let the whole thing play out and it finally ended when HE finally could not take anymore of the manipulation and just the plain nuttieness. HE had to come to this realization and he did. I just wish he didn't get hurt in the process but that does happen in "love."
Well? She's back! I mean back like a sequel to a very scarry movie.
She found my son on line the other night, called him about 25 times in a row, and sent numerous text messages which were so disgusting I threw up a little in my mouth just reading them. Then? She calls me to inform me that MY son was doing this to her. And how he cheated on her and yadda, yadda, yadda. She is truely pathological and I don't know why she would seek me out as her compadre in this matter. She is very much aware that I can't stand her and have never made any bones about it!
So, now I had to find out who was naughty and who was nice. You know....he said/she said....teen-age drama bullshit! I went on line, pulled off the emails.......(she's very good at cut and paste........) checked the phone logs from the cell phone company......25 calls in a row all made from HER,..............and had to send all text messages, and their vile contents to my computer for evidence.
Why do I need evidence? The girl just didn't stop there. She got daddy involved and convinced him that my son is anti-semetic and is going to "gas" her and her family..........(cut and paste emails that do not match the originals in my son's "sent box."). All of this because of being jilted and CRAZY. And, daddy has fallen for her crap.
The bastard called me up in a nut rage bullying, threatening and screaming at me. He's some whoopty doo photo journalist in Southern California that had to tell me several times about all the people he knows............I am supposed to care? I am supposed to afraid? What, dude?
He talks....screams at me about hate crimes..........and the seriousness of them........really? I surely was not aware of the seriousness of all this. But what he failed to scream about? His daughter making fun of my son because he is half Mexican......she stooped so low in these emails that she informed my son that her father needs a gardener and would my son be into accepting this position.
Then, she went on even further about the "criminal" side of Boy#1's ethnicity.....that would his Italian side (me). I guess my son should audition for the Sopranos.....(last season, a little too late). She conveniently ommitted these little transgressions from her conversation with daddy.
And daddy didn't know what hit him when I let into his photo journalist ass about his daughter's own version of racism! Get your ducks in a row............And, don't bully me nor talk down to me........I'll burry your ass! He seriously has a problem with women and tends to see them as weak and easily intimidated. Not this one!!!!! No, no, no. Don't confuse me with someone else! Douche Bag!
I ended the conversation by simply stating.....the end....no more...done. No contact whatsoever!
My son has been given a set of instructions on what to do with "spam" (her emails) phone calls, etc........and he is to follow all of them. No deviation whatsoever. Damn, I was pissed.
I think my whole block heard me yelling but? who cares...go in the house! Sometimes, we have to come out fighting, just a little.
Now, if she comes back for a third sequel? The District Attorney's office will be involved. Restraining order time.
Soemtimes? I wonder if this is all worth it.
I will post more on Father of the Year's contribution to this exciting episode of life. Idiot!
Too make a long story short.......they broke up a few months ago and I was elated!!!!
She was a complete nut job.....and I mean certifiable. And in someways..........many ways......I actually feel sorry for her. I felt and still feel that the best thing her parents could ever do for this girl is to get her some much needed help. I am puting her level of instability into a category all of it's own. She is seriously a threat to herself and those around her and I am not exagerrating.
She is cunning, calculating, actually has been admitted for the mandatory 72 hour observasion our state sometimes mandates and she's a "cutter." http://www.vinland.org/scamp/institute/dsh.html
None of the above mentioned "red flags" warranted any "flight" response from my son. I mean, they were not an issue. This was his first, true love.
Wow! As the butt-in-at-every-chance mother that I am, I begged, I pleaded, I provided literature on the truely mentally ill.....but nothing. No avail. My whole family did the same. His father, however, said I was "coddling."
My boy's attitude changed for the worse.....fighting constantly with his brother, me, whomever........I seriously did not like this young man.......but what could I have done? I let the whole thing play out and it finally ended when HE finally could not take anymore of the manipulation and just the plain nuttieness. HE had to come to this realization and he did. I just wish he didn't get hurt in the process but that does happen in "love."
Well? She's back! I mean back like a sequel to a very scarry movie.
She found my son on line the other night, called him about 25 times in a row, and sent numerous text messages which were so disgusting I threw up a little in my mouth just reading them. Then? She calls me to inform me that MY son was doing this to her. And how he cheated on her and yadda, yadda, yadda. She is truely pathological and I don't know why she would seek me out as her compadre in this matter. She is very much aware that I can't stand her and have never made any bones about it!
So, now I had to find out who was naughty and who was nice. You know....he said/she said....teen-age drama bullshit! I went on line, pulled off the emails.......(she's very good at cut and paste........) checked the phone logs from the cell phone company......25 calls in a row all made from HER,..............and had to send all text messages, and their vile contents to my computer for evidence.
Why do I need evidence? The girl just didn't stop there. She got daddy involved and convinced him that my son is anti-semetic and is going to "gas" her and her family..........(cut and paste emails that do not match the originals in my son's "sent box."). All of this because of being jilted and CRAZY. And, daddy has fallen for her crap.
The bastard called me up in a nut rage bullying, threatening and screaming at me. He's some whoopty doo photo journalist in Southern California that had to tell me several times about all the people he knows............I am supposed to care? I am supposed to afraid? What, dude?
He talks....screams at me about hate crimes..........and the seriousness of them........really? I surely was not aware of the seriousness of all this. But what he failed to scream about? His daughter making fun of my son because he is half Mexican......she stooped so low in these emails that she informed my son that her father needs a gardener and would my son be into accepting this position.
Then, she went on even further about the "criminal" side of Boy#1's ethnicity.....that would his Italian side (me). I guess my son should audition for the Sopranos.....(last season, a little too late). She conveniently ommitted these little transgressions from her conversation with daddy.
And daddy didn't know what hit him when I let into his photo journalist ass about his daughter's own version of racism! Get your ducks in a row............And, don't bully me nor talk down to me........I'll burry your ass! He seriously has a problem with women and tends to see them as weak and easily intimidated. Not this one!!!!! No, no, no. Don't confuse me with someone else! Douche Bag!
I ended the conversation by simply stating.....the end....no more...done. No contact whatsoever!
My son has been given a set of instructions on what to do with "spam" (her emails) phone calls, etc........and he is to follow all of them. No deviation whatsoever. Damn, I was pissed.
I think my whole block heard me yelling but? who cares...go in the house! Sometimes, we have to come out fighting, just a little.
Now, if she comes back for a third sequel? The District Attorney's office will be involved. Restraining order time.
Soemtimes? I wonder if this is all worth it.
I will post more on Father of the Year's contribution to this exciting episode of life. Idiot!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Camelia Lady
I have stated earlier that I am seeing a family therapist to help me change the Knot into a Kitten (see earlier post) and deal with some health issues I am currently experiencing. She's helped me a lot and has convinced me that I am not crazy in the sense of certifiable, that I am worthy of love, (ex........sure beat me up on that one for years) and I am not a bad person. She says, and I quote, " You are very expressive."
Is that polite for crazy?
Next week, however, I am going to get her to help me figure out why..........Why am I a clothes whore? Seriously, there is some deep rooted, freakish, obsession I have regarding clothes.
Why am I bringing this up?
I just put away laundry.......my laundry. My mom brought some of my clothes back (I stashed some summer stuff in one of her closets hoping she wouldn't care and/or notice....wrong......) and I have been trying to make room in, get this; two dressers, an antique amoire (with a huge drawer) and a closet for all of my clothes. It took me forever but the positive? I am getting rid of a ton of stuff. I am going to try and find Camellia Lady tonight and pass her on a bunch of clothes. I will get to Camellia Lady in a moment.
But, this clothes thing seriously needs to be addressed. And the color scheme has me thinking as well. How many black skirts, pants, sweaters, t-shirts, sweats, undies, bras, shoes, whatever can one person own? If it's not black? Grey. Then a huge amount of red....my favorite color. I do have a few "splashes" of pink, blue and purple........but that is it, a handful. The only thing that saves me from getting pinched on St. Patrick's day is the color of my eyes. They're green. The only green I own. And seriously? Do I LOOK Irish? Not really. Please, don't explain the concept of "Black Irish". I have already heard it and know all about it. Spain raped virtually every country. Oh, I do have some pesto green looking, long sleeve shirt that I rarely wear.....green just isn't my color.
But, tonight? I think I will go find Camelia Lady and give her some "new" clothes.
Like everyother city in this country, we have a huge homeless situation. Many are certifiable crazy from years of substance abuse, others are vets, and some are just crazy.......period. And, it's both alarming and sad. You never know which one is going to go off.
But, I have somewhat befriended a woman that I call Camelia Lady. Her "scam" is that she steals camelias from yards and sells them. This city is littered with 2 zillion camelia bushes/shrubs and she has found a use for them. Steal them and sell them to make a few bucks. I am not condoning stealing...but, hey? it could be worse. She could be fencing stereos or worse? Handguns.
She hangs out in front of the Blues Club and hits up every guy to buy one of her flowers to give to his date, girlfriend, wife or whateve (the whatever part would usually apply to a gay couple, I live downtown). And they buy. They would look like a real cheap idiot in front of their SO if they didn't buy. The only one who NEVER buys is: Sweetie. He has known her for years and won't buy her flowers. It's not because he's being a cheap idiot, he just doesn't want stolen flowers that will soon die and be scattered all over my car. (He does, however, slip a her a few bucks when he thinks I am not looking).
It's fine that he doesn't BUY me one of her flowers because she GIVES me a few everytime she sees me along with a big hug. ...yeah, I know, I am a sucker.......I can get a little too involved in things that most people would just walk away from. I feel sorry for her and I really don't know why other than the fact she's homeless. She could be very happy but I can't get that because she's homeless. I seriously don't know.
She's this tiny, little, woman from Puerto Rico. Her "husband" is from Rome (Italy). One night, she came up to me speaking Spanish and he starts speaking Italian to me. I just shook my head and told them both to stop because they were confusing me. I told her I could understand her (4 years of Espanol and similar to Italian) but I could understand HIM more so. He felt as tho he he had won some prize or something for guessing correctly that I am Italian and not Mexican like his "wife" thought. Whatever, it was actually kinda funny, especially after a few glasses of wine.
Last week, Sweetie and I went there to listen to a few sets of blues and dance (basically to kick back and let him unwind....it's been a trying week with his mom's passing and all) and she was outside pushing her flowers and a broom. She was sweeping the sidewalk in front of the Blues Club and the Salsa Club next door. She was more interested in sweeping the Salsa's Club walk because she was really getting into the music. And? That girl can dance! Even if her dance partner was a broom...........she was getting down!
All of a sudden, her "husband" shows up and she's pissed. They must of had some fight or some other drama. She doesn't strike me as a drunk. I think he has a substance probelm of some sort, but not her. Well, I don't think she sold too many flowers that night because when he showed up, she started throwing them at him and cussing him out in Spanish.
So much for the clean sidewalk. Eh...let the city workers earn their keep, anyhoo.
I really wish I could figure out this woman's story because........she is too coherent to be on the streets. I don't think I am generalizing because, seriously, most of OUR homeless are INcoherent. I tried to get her in touch with a group of nuns I know that run several of the homeless programs in my city. She told me she was deathly afraid of nuns. The nuns in Puerto Rico were very mean. I told her we have some very mean nuns too, but this group is way different. If I was exposed to more nuns like them when I was growing up, I probably would not have done an about-face from the Church.
One of the nuns is a customer of mine and probably one of the most loveable human beings that I have ever met. She is the director of a major homeless program here and excepts people for who they are without passing judgement. She has very strong convictions and doesn't condone certain behavior, but she doesn't pass judgement. She is truely dedicated to her work and the "real" teachings of Christ. I have to always remind my kids or whomever else is in my caffe` when the nuns come in. No one would ever know they were nuns unless they were informed of the fact.
I am the one who really needs to pay attention and listen to her own lectures on how to behave in front of nuns. Because? Guess what? I was the one who slipped and cussed in front of her......ooops, my bad. She blew it off, at least for about ten minutes. Then kiddingly stated she heard me, forgave me and was thankful that I had only said "shit" instead of the normal GD that is uttered when I drop "shit". Hey we are all human.....including nuns and priests.
Wow.....reading this, I went from couseling, clothing, camelias, homelessness, nuns, ..............cussing.......anything else? And I say my ex suffers from A.D.D.? Hmmmmmmm there may be a problem here. Maybe I am crazy.....just a tad, but all is good.
I hope at least a few of these clothes fit her because, damn, that woman is tiny. I thought I was small? This woman is TINY!
Ciao! Angie
Is that polite for crazy?
Next week, however, I am going to get her to help me figure out why..........Why am I a clothes whore? Seriously, there is some deep rooted, freakish, obsession I have regarding clothes.
Why am I bringing this up?
I just put away laundry.......my laundry. My mom brought some of my clothes back (I stashed some summer stuff in one of her closets hoping she wouldn't care and/or notice....wrong......) and I have been trying to make room in, get this; two dressers, an antique amoire (with a huge drawer) and a closet for all of my clothes. It took me forever but the positive? I am getting rid of a ton of stuff. I am going to try and find Camellia Lady tonight and pass her on a bunch of clothes. I will get to Camellia Lady in a moment.
But, this clothes thing seriously needs to be addressed. And the color scheme has me thinking as well. How many black skirts, pants, sweaters, t-shirts, sweats, undies, bras, shoes, whatever can one person own? If it's not black? Grey. Then a huge amount of red....my favorite color. I do have a few "splashes" of pink, blue and purple........but that is it, a handful. The only thing that saves me from getting pinched on St. Patrick's day is the color of my eyes. They're green. The only green I own. And seriously? Do I LOOK Irish? Not really. Please, don't explain the concept of "Black Irish". I have already heard it and know all about it. Spain raped virtually every country. Oh, I do have some pesto green looking, long sleeve shirt that I rarely wear.....green just isn't my color.
But, tonight? I think I will go find Camelia Lady and give her some "new" clothes.
Like everyother city in this country, we have a huge homeless situation. Many are certifiable crazy from years of substance abuse, others are vets, and some are just crazy.......period. And, it's both alarming and sad. You never know which one is going to go off.
But, I have somewhat befriended a woman that I call Camelia Lady. Her "scam" is that she steals camelias from yards and sells them. This city is littered with 2 zillion camelia bushes/shrubs and she has found a use for them. Steal them and sell them to make a few bucks. I am not condoning stealing...but, hey? it could be worse. She could be fencing stereos or worse? Handguns.
She hangs out in front of the Blues Club and hits up every guy to buy one of her flowers to give to his date, girlfriend, wife or whateve (the whatever part would usually apply to a gay couple, I live downtown). And they buy. They would look like a real cheap idiot in front of their SO if they didn't buy. The only one who NEVER buys is: Sweetie. He has known her for years and won't buy her flowers. It's not because he's being a cheap idiot, he just doesn't want stolen flowers that will soon die and be scattered all over my car. (He does, however, slip a her a few bucks when he thinks I am not looking).
It's fine that he doesn't BUY me one of her flowers because she GIVES me a few everytime she sees me along with a big hug. ...yeah, I know, I am a sucker.......I can get a little too involved in things that most people would just walk away from. I feel sorry for her and I really don't know why other than the fact she's homeless. She could be very happy but I can't get that because she's homeless. I seriously don't know.
She's this tiny, little, woman from Puerto Rico. Her "husband" is from Rome (Italy). One night, she came up to me speaking Spanish and he starts speaking Italian to me. I just shook my head and told them both to stop because they were confusing me. I told her I could understand her (4 years of Espanol and similar to Italian) but I could understand HIM more so. He felt as tho he he had won some prize or something for guessing correctly that I am Italian and not Mexican like his "wife" thought. Whatever, it was actually kinda funny, especially after a few glasses of wine.
Last week, Sweetie and I went there to listen to a few sets of blues and dance (basically to kick back and let him unwind....it's been a trying week with his mom's passing and all) and she was outside pushing her flowers and a broom. She was sweeping the sidewalk in front of the Blues Club and the Salsa Club next door. She was more interested in sweeping the Salsa's Club walk because she was really getting into the music. And? That girl can dance! Even if her dance partner was a broom...........she was getting down!
All of a sudden, her "husband" shows up and she's pissed. They must of had some fight or some other drama. She doesn't strike me as a drunk. I think he has a substance probelm of some sort, but not her. Well, I don't think she sold too many flowers that night because when he showed up, she started throwing them at him and cussing him out in Spanish.
So much for the clean sidewalk. Eh...let the city workers earn their keep, anyhoo.
I really wish I could figure out this woman's story because........she is too coherent to be on the streets. I don't think I am generalizing because, seriously, most of OUR homeless are INcoherent. I tried to get her in touch with a group of nuns I know that run several of the homeless programs in my city. She told me she was deathly afraid of nuns. The nuns in Puerto Rico were very mean. I told her we have some very mean nuns too, but this group is way different. If I was exposed to more nuns like them when I was growing up, I probably would not have done an about-face from the Church.
One of the nuns is a customer of mine and probably one of the most loveable human beings that I have ever met. She is the director of a major homeless program here and excepts people for who they are without passing judgement. She has very strong convictions and doesn't condone certain behavior, but she doesn't pass judgement. She is truely dedicated to her work and the "real" teachings of Christ. I have to always remind my kids or whomever else is in my caffe` when the nuns come in. No one would ever know they were nuns unless they were informed of the fact.
I am the one who really needs to pay attention and listen to her own lectures on how to behave in front of nuns. Because? Guess what? I was the one who slipped and cussed in front of her......ooops, my bad. She blew it off, at least for about ten minutes. Then kiddingly stated she heard me, forgave me and was thankful that I had only said "shit" instead of the normal GD that is uttered when I drop "shit". Hey we are all human.....including nuns and priests.
Wow.....reading this, I went from couseling, clothing, camelias, homelessness, nuns, ..............cussing.......anything else? And I say my ex suffers from A.D.D.? Hmmmmmmm there may be a problem here. Maybe I am crazy.....just a tad, but all is good.
I hope at least a few of these clothes fit her because, damn, that woman is tiny. I thought I was small? This woman is TINY!
Ciao! Angie
Get On the Same Page, Damn it!
I am seriously not getting this...seriously.
I am reading the front page of the newspaper. Well, I should say the back page.....of the front page.......whatever. But, I reading an article about Federal and State Laws banning the sale of firearms to the mentally ill.
So, how did he get not only one gun but two guns? (Seung-Hui Cho) Don't get me started on the other matter regarding ammo........
According to the article: " Federal law prohibits anyone who has be 'adjudicated as a mental defective' (shouldn't that read "as mentalLY defective?) as well as those who have been involuntarily committed to a mental healh facility, from purchasing a gun."
Sounds good......mentally ill people should not own guns.......(my world? Hand guns should be illegal!!!!! Done Period. End of subject). Yes, I know: buying a gun, on the streets, is akin to buying crack, weed, and whatever else criminal folk sell. I have heard ALL of the "rebuttals" to my argument..but, it still doesn't change my view.
The best argument I have heard, or I should say the most amusing was about how I would want a gun in my home or had wished for one if someone was to illegally enter and rape,mame, brutallize my kids or me. Sounds good in theory...but reality?
Ok...this was back when my boys were younger and common sense dictates that we keep guns out kids' reach...common sense. Well, to put a gun out of my boyz reach would mean that it would be out of MY reach. I am 4"11. What the hell good would that do me?
Beg the assailant to wait, while I get a ladder, fish through darkness and cluttered years of junk in my closet while I searched for my gun, half asleep? I think I would be dead before even remotely feeling the gun! Please!
Baseball bats can do the trick and they are in a few convenient places throughout my house. The dumb-ass dog is also a good deterrent. Sometimes, I think that is his only purpose in my life. Otherwise? If it wasn't for his "protection" and the boyz who love him? He would have another home. (He's "slightly" destructive and I am a cat person). Now he's best friends with Sweetie..........I can't win!
Back to the "article"........Ok, we know he was ordered.....ORDERED.....to seek outpatient treatment and he was declared to be mentally ill and a danger to himself and others......but for some reason Virginia has a different "form" for reporting this information to the Feds.
I know I am not an attorney, nor a Political Science major but I do recall.......federal law superceeds state law. Am I correct?
Virginia is also the leading state in reporting disqualifications based on mental health criteria .....but their "law" or statute is worded slightly different from the federal statute and only addresses THEIR state's criteria.
According to this article, "authorities" in Virginia used the terms that fit Virginia law but weren't thinking about the federal law. Perhaps, no one even knew about these federal regulations.
Hmmmm......I can not just say a lack of communication.....nah.......that's isn't right.
I feel some heads are going to roll on this one.
I am not blaming the bureaucrats.....I hold Mr. Cho 100% resposnsible for his acts, but, seriously? Can we all get on the same page? Seriously!
Do we need another senseless act of violence before we get in synch?
I am reading the front page of the newspaper. Well, I should say the back page.....of the front page.......whatever. But, I reading an article about Federal and State Laws banning the sale of firearms to the mentally ill.
So, how did he get not only one gun but two guns? (Seung-Hui Cho) Don't get me started on the other matter regarding ammo........
According to the article: " Federal law prohibits anyone who has be 'adjudicated as a mental defective' (shouldn't that read "as mentalLY defective?) as well as those who have been involuntarily committed to a mental healh facility, from purchasing a gun."
Sounds good......mentally ill people should not own guns.......(my world? Hand guns should be illegal!!!!! Done Period. End of subject). Yes, I know: buying a gun, on the streets, is akin to buying crack, weed, and whatever else criminal folk sell. I have heard ALL of the "rebuttals" to my argument..but, it still doesn't change my view.
The best argument I have heard, or I should say the most amusing was about how I would want a gun in my home or had wished for one if someone was to illegally enter and rape,mame, brutallize my kids or me. Sounds good in theory...but reality?
Ok...this was back when my boys were younger and common sense dictates that we keep guns out kids' reach...common sense. Well, to put a gun out of my boyz reach would mean that it would be out of MY reach. I am 4"11. What the hell good would that do me?
Beg the assailant to wait, while I get a ladder, fish through darkness and cluttered years of junk in my closet while I searched for my gun, half asleep? I think I would be dead before even remotely feeling the gun! Please!
Baseball bats can do the trick and they are in a few convenient places throughout my house. The dumb-ass dog is also a good deterrent. Sometimes, I think that is his only purpose in my life. Otherwise? If it wasn't for his "protection" and the boyz who love him? He would have another home. (He's "slightly" destructive and I am a cat person). Now he's best friends with Sweetie..........I can't win!
Back to the "article"........Ok, we know he was ordered.....ORDERED.....to seek outpatient treatment and he was declared to be mentally ill and a danger to himself and others......but for some reason Virginia has a different "form" for reporting this information to the Feds.
I know I am not an attorney, nor a Political Science major but I do recall.......federal law superceeds state law. Am I correct?
Virginia is also the leading state in reporting disqualifications based on mental health criteria .....but their "law" or statute is worded slightly different from the federal statute and only addresses THEIR state's criteria.
According to this article, "authorities" in Virginia used the terms that fit Virginia law but weren't thinking about the federal law. Perhaps, no one even knew about these federal regulations.
Hmmmm......I can not just say a lack of communication.....nah.......that's isn't right.
I feel some heads are going to roll on this one.
I am not blaming the bureaucrats.....I hold Mr. Cho 100% resposnsible for his acts, but, seriously? Can we all get on the same page? Seriously!
Do we need another senseless act of violence before we get in synch?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
United We Stand?
After the the worst attack in American History.......9/11.......many people drove around sporting American flags with the saying: "United We Stand." I guess I really misinterpretted that bumper sticker. I was under the assumption that , perhaps all the rudeness, bigotry, hatred, abuse, violence and every other vile behavior we as humans.........for lack of better words......are unfortunately capable of, would just disappear. All of the ugliness would be a thing of the past. Why? Because: United We Stand. After 200+ years of this country existence we would all come together, put aside our differences and act like human beings should act.
Wow.........I seriously do live in denial and wish for a perfect world. Maybe not a perfect world, but I wish to live in a better world.
I think we were United for? Oh? Maybe three weeks? Maybe. Then it was back to business as usual.
First off..........Rudeness. Why do people have to be so rude and thoughtless? I know we all lead busy lives and we are more in a hurry than the slow walking idiot in front of us but why be so rude? Yes.......I am getting to my point. Patience. Actually, that fits well under the heading of rudeness also. Patience.
I was delivering some catering to an office building late yesterday afternoon. Traffic was obscene. Parking was not going to happen and everyone around me was just rude.
I have never had a problem speaking my mind, never. I also have never had a problem telling people exactly what I am thinking and how I feel. I believe I "reprimanded" about five people in a thirty minute time frame about their rudeness and lack of just common sense. The young dude that almost knocked my 65 year old mother over, got the brunt of it. I mean, he was just an ass! Just two simple words would have suficed....."Excuse Me". Were you not taught that little saying? Or, before I blame your parents.........Do you remember those words? Jack-off!
The girl in the elevator who could visibly see all the food I had on a cart but still chose to cut me off? She was next. That was just stupid. If I would have lost just one chicken breast because you HAD to be the first one to enter the freight elevator....funny, you didn't have any freight and you took the car up ONE floor........I think I would have burned you, seriously, with chafing dish fluid.....(lighter fluid).
Unfortunately, my thinking about committing violent acts against my fellow man/woman has led me to my next point. Violence.
What the hell? Have we seriously gone completely mad and so out of touch with reality? What I am referring to is the horrible killing spree at Virginia Tech.
I feel for those victims so deeply. So young, so alive, so much life ahead of them that ended so abruptly because of one man's psychotic ramblings, episodes, and just lunacy.......I mean really? Did you view and see his "manifesto?" Oh, Dio Mio......what the hell?
Besides the carnage........besides all of that........why and how do we let people get to this point? What I mean is, why must something happen FIRST before we get involved? I am not passing blame........he was an adult, a sick adult, but still an adult. But, he had a court order to seek counseling!!!!! Where in the hell was the follow up? Whose desk is the paper work burried on?
This is the part I don't get! The signs were there. He had acted out before; it was documented. So, why? What happened?
And, don't even get me started on weapons in this country. Yes, I know......."guns don't kill, people kill." Yeah, whatever.
But United We Stand.......right? Still? Or was that for only three weeks almost six years ago?
Wow.........I seriously do live in denial and wish for a perfect world. Maybe not a perfect world, but I wish to live in a better world.
I think we were United for? Oh? Maybe three weeks? Maybe. Then it was back to business as usual.
First off..........Rudeness. Why do people have to be so rude and thoughtless? I know we all lead busy lives and we are more in a hurry than the slow walking idiot in front of us but why be so rude? Yes.......I am getting to my point. Patience. Actually, that fits well under the heading of rudeness also. Patience.
I was delivering some catering to an office building late yesterday afternoon. Traffic was obscene. Parking was not going to happen and everyone around me was just rude.
I have never had a problem speaking my mind, never. I also have never had a problem telling people exactly what I am thinking and how I feel. I believe I "reprimanded" about five people in a thirty minute time frame about their rudeness and lack of just common sense. The young dude that almost knocked my 65 year old mother over, got the brunt of it. I mean, he was just an ass! Just two simple words would have suficed....."Excuse Me". Were you not taught that little saying? Or, before I blame your parents.........Do you remember those words? Jack-off!
The girl in the elevator who could visibly see all the food I had on a cart but still chose to cut me off? She was next. That was just stupid. If I would have lost just one chicken breast because you HAD to be the first one to enter the freight elevator....funny, you didn't have any freight and you took the car up ONE floor........I think I would have burned you, seriously, with chafing dish fluid.....(lighter fluid).
Unfortunately, my thinking about committing violent acts against my fellow man/woman has led me to my next point. Violence.
What the hell? Have we seriously gone completely mad and so out of touch with reality? What I am referring to is the horrible killing spree at Virginia Tech.
I feel for those victims so deeply. So young, so alive, so much life ahead of them that ended so abruptly because of one man's psychotic ramblings, episodes, and just lunacy.......I mean really? Did you view and see his "manifesto?" Oh, Dio Mio......what the hell?
Besides the carnage........besides all of that........why and how do we let people get to this point? What I mean is, why must something happen FIRST before we get involved? I am not passing blame........he was an adult, a sick adult, but still an adult. But, he had a court order to seek counseling!!!!! Where in the hell was the follow up? Whose desk is the paper work burried on?
This is the part I don't get! The signs were there. He had acted out before; it was documented. So, why? What happened?
And, don't even get me started on weapons in this country. Yes, I know......."guns don't kill, people kill." Yeah, whatever.
But United We Stand.......right? Still? Or was that for only three weeks almost six years ago?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Transition
I think I am in a "transisional" period. They are actually scarry for me, because? I can't predict the future and I crave and love stability and continuity. I guess I am mundane......or wish to BE mundane. Repetitive? Maybe. Nah, don't use that word. Repetitive is what has given you http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/carpal-tunnel-syndrome/DS00326/DSECTION=2.
Good God.....What's next? And I seriously shudder to ask.
I have had it for years......But now, we may have? http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tendinitis/DS00153/DSECTION=2
Tennis Elbow! Please.....anyone know any tennis players......oops, my bad, what's his name? Andre.......ahhhhh Agasi. Ok that is the only Italian I know in tennis. Tennis elbow.........what? I played softball, not tennis. That is just way wrong!
Oh? And the x-rays? Slipped and or herniated?) disks..........what the hell? (Couldn't stomach researching this one......done). Not going under any knife nor taking the the Celebrex prescribed. Research that shit.......not good........at all! Why would someone prescribe that shit?
Ok.....I called my banker, put money in my account. And? I am going back to school.
Repetitive motion........not ONLY applies to cooking but typing as well. Hello????!!!!!!!! And, I am sorry, sitting IS more painful for me. But? It will be a "real" job vs. a hobby. No bitterness there!
And it is all on my left side and I am not even left handed. Whatever.
We will talk about Sweetie and THAT transition later...........that is also scarry.
Why do I hate the unknown? I know I am not alone.........correct? There is a whole bunch of us out there that like stability, right???????
Good God.....What's next? And I seriously shudder to ask.
I have had it for years......But now, we may have? http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tendinitis/DS00153/DSECTION=2
Tennis Elbow! Please.....anyone know any tennis players......oops, my bad, what's his name? Andre.......ahhhhh Agasi. Ok that is the only Italian I know in tennis. Tennis elbow.........what? I played softball, not tennis. That is just way wrong!
Oh? And the x-rays? Slipped and or herniated?) disks..........what the hell? (Couldn't stomach researching this one......done). Not going under any knife nor taking the the Celebrex prescribed. Research that shit.......not good........at all! Why would someone prescribe that shit?
Ok.....I called my banker, put money in my account. And? I am going back to school.
Repetitive motion........not ONLY applies to cooking but typing as well. Hello????!!!!!!!! And, I am sorry, sitting IS more painful for me. But? It will be a "real" job vs. a hobby. No bitterness there!
And it is all on my left side and I am not even left handed. Whatever.
We will talk about Sweetie and THAT transition later...........that is also scarry.
Why do I hate the unknown? I know I am not alone.........correct? There is a whole bunch of us out there that like stability, right???????
Saturday, April 14, 2007
What Happens Next?
A man, a beautiful man is laying on my bed, somewhat next to me, not really. He just lost his mother to a horrible, and I am sorry ,cruel, joke of a disease. That would be Sweetie and the disease? See Lou Gherig's and I know I can' spell nor do I care.
We got the call about 4:00 am, our time, stating..........she stopped breathing. I never heard the phone ring. We had a great dinner last night and danced to one of our favorite bands. I never heard the call. I only heard....."she's not breathing? Angie....get up! My mom is dead. Get up."
Wow. And about 15 minutes later? He called me back to tell me.........she passed. Damn! Sad, but, I am sorry...........also? A blessing. The woman was sufferring and MY GOD doesn't allow families and loved ones to suffer. HE /SHE suffered and took that pain and misery away from the rest of folk. My God. The one I believe in. He/ She doesn't give us cruel, inhumane, sufferring diseases. It just isn't right.
I was there last night as he tried to put her to bed.........(between dinner and dancing). I was there as he tried to make her comfortable. I sat outside the room, talking with his sister. But? I was there and it was not pretty. And the look of exasperation on that man when it was all done............My heart goes out. Oh, if I could cry his tears? I would. I most definitely would. Mi bambino.
I was there when he told me........the end was very near. We talked. We talked about our future. Ok? What happens next? Where do we go? Are you moving in with me? What do we do? What happens next?
Now, I just made him get into his sweats.........it never rains in California.........yeah right. Not Northern Ca.......it is cold! Rainy and cold. I made him crawl into bed and sleep. The poor man has been awake since 4:oo am this morning. And? The ghoul(?)s are already out. Those that "want" her stuff and make no bones in expressing it when her body is not even cold.
What the hell is wrong with these people? They are at every families' death misery......just there.....waiting.
He won't go back to his mother's house tonight. He set the alarm and he left. He came over here just to get a good nights' sleep. I am sure, at about 2-4 this morning.........it's not going to be good.
And tomorrow? Who knows? I may stay there........but? I think he will be here, because? There? It's not comforting. The house he grew up in, then bought, raised HIS kids and gave it back (to mother) and the house his mother passed in............It's just not comforting now..........It is not a happy, warm place right now.
Wow! What a cycle.
What happens next?
We got the call about 4:00 am, our time, stating..........she stopped breathing. I never heard the phone ring. We had a great dinner last night and danced to one of our favorite bands. I never heard the call. I only heard....."she's not breathing? Angie....get up! My mom is dead. Get up."
Wow. And about 15 minutes later? He called me back to tell me.........she passed. Damn! Sad, but, I am sorry...........also? A blessing. The woman was sufferring and MY GOD doesn't allow families and loved ones to suffer. HE /SHE suffered and took that pain and misery away from the rest of folk. My God. The one I believe in. He/ She doesn't give us cruel, inhumane, sufferring diseases. It just isn't right.
I was there last night as he tried to put her to bed.........(between dinner and dancing). I was there as he tried to make her comfortable. I sat outside the room, talking with his sister. But? I was there and it was not pretty. And the look of exasperation on that man when it was all done............My heart goes out. Oh, if I could cry his tears? I would. I most definitely would. Mi bambino.
I was there when he told me........the end was very near. We talked. We talked about our future. Ok? What happens next? Where do we go? Are you moving in with me? What do we do? What happens next?
Now, I just made him get into his sweats.........it never rains in California.........yeah right. Not Northern Ca.......it is cold! Rainy and cold. I made him crawl into bed and sleep. The poor man has been awake since 4:oo am this morning. And? The ghoul(?)s are already out. Those that "want" her stuff and make no bones in expressing it when her body is not even cold.
What the hell is wrong with these people? They are at every families' death misery......just there.....waiting.
He won't go back to his mother's house tonight. He set the alarm and he left. He came over here just to get a good nights' sleep. I am sure, at about 2-4 this morning.........it's not going to be good.
And tomorrow? Who knows? I may stay there........but? I think he will be here, because? There? It's not comforting. The house he grew up in, then bought, raised HIS kids and gave it back (to mother) and the house his mother passed in............It's just not comforting now..........It is not a happy, warm place right now.
Wow! What a cycle.
What happens next?
Friday, April 13, 2007
How To Anger Your Childrens' Mamma.....part 2K
Change your email.......all emails that pertains to YOUR family. Forwarderd emails......can't deliver. Mother fucker!
NEVER answer your phone and retturn messages at YOUR convenience.........that goes over well.
Don't pay attention to anything. Nothing! Be oblivious. Uninvolved. Be naive.......or better yet? When you can't own up to not following along, say your boyz lied to you. Don't own up.........Little man.
Bad talk me to your children..........AND let it get back to me. (mamma).
It is now all coming home to roost. AND? You really want me to share custody with you? Seriously? Hmm.....bad part? In California? I have to prove you are a crack head or whatever to give you that right of joint custody? Something is so seriously wrong! Very wrong. You are just a sperm donor. READ: Sperm donor. FATHER on a birth certificates.........mother fucker.
This was actually important. Guess, I will have to cal my atttorney tomorrow. Hmm? Wonder how much that will cost me? Mother fucker!
I am sorry, Men: Listen up! Listen SO up! GET INVOLVED! Don't be a mother fucker............or loser in life. Guess what? Not involved in your kids' life? YOUR loss! Enough said. Be invloved, please.
Damn, I seriously do not know that man. Neither do my boyz.................They are figuring it out. Nobody knows this man. Not the same person . A loss? You decide.
OK: On the positive note? I will have a good weekend. Yes, not to my desire........I will go back to school and finish? Yeah right........my education..............at this point? I really don't care. Beat up, again! Mother fucker. Nah, I will do finish. I will.
And? positive, agian.............I really love MY MAN. I swear, he is the most supportive, loving man, thank God, I have ever met. Some times? I pinch myself to see if I am dreaming or if I am worthy of being loved. Beat up some more and have to quesion everything. Why do I feel that I am not worthy of any love? Oh, that would be NARCISSIM?
I do know he loves me. I appreciate it now, but will seriously recognize it more when he is with me through thick and thin. Ti amo, mi bambino! Ti amo...........Grazie. (ok....that means: I love you.....my baby.......I love you, thank you!).
I am teaching him Italian. I should be teaching myself or getting lessons. Just my daily rant.
NEVER answer your phone and retturn messages at YOUR convenience.........that goes over well.
Don't pay attention to anything. Nothing! Be oblivious. Uninvolved. Be naive.......or better yet? When you can't own up to not following along, say your boyz lied to you. Don't own up.........Little man.
Bad talk me to your children..........AND let it get back to me. (mamma).
It is now all coming home to roost. AND? You really want me to share custody with you? Seriously? Hmm.....bad part? In California? I have to prove you are a crack head or whatever to give you that right of joint custody? Something is so seriously wrong! Very wrong. You are just a sperm donor. READ: Sperm donor. FATHER on a birth certificates.........mother fucker.
This was actually important. Guess, I will have to cal my atttorney tomorrow. Hmm? Wonder how much that will cost me? Mother fucker!
I am sorry, Men: Listen up! Listen SO up! GET INVOLVED! Don't be a mother fucker............or loser in life. Guess what? Not involved in your kids' life? YOUR loss! Enough said. Be invloved, please.
Damn, I seriously do not know that man. Neither do my boyz.................They are figuring it out. Nobody knows this man. Not the same person . A loss? You decide.
OK: On the positive note? I will have a good weekend. Yes, not to my desire........I will go back to school and finish? Yeah right........my education..............at this point? I really don't care. Beat up, again! Mother fucker. Nah, I will do finish. I will.
And? positive, agian.............I really love MY MAN. I swear, he is the most supportive, loving man, thank God, I have ever met. Some times? I pinch myself to see if I am dreaming or if I am worthy of being loved. Beat up some more and have to quesion everything. Why do I feel that I am not worthy of any love? Oh, that would be NARCISSIM?
I do know he loves me. I appreciate it now, but will seriously recognize it more when he is with me through thick and thin. Ti amo, mi bambino! Ti amo...........Grazie. (ok....that means: I love you.....my baby.......I love you, thank you!).
I am teaching him Italian. I should be teaching myself or getting lessons. Just my daily rant.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Starting All Over Agian.....is going to be rough
Clarence Carter.....Stating all over again is going to rough, but we're going to make it (not some love song.......my song.......)
That is what I will be doing. Starting all over again, it's going to be rough, but we're going to make it.
I am going back to school. Whoo hoo.....no that is not excitement in my voice.....it is fake, contrived. I am convincing myself to do the "right" thing. I am enrolling in a paralegal program through University of Davis....UCD.......... my ex gets his wish. I will have a real job vs.....a hobby. Thank you!
42 years old and starting all over again. Thanks.
Hope you can come up with half of the tuition.......oh, about? $3500.00. Thank you.
Thank you for taking another piece of my heart.
That is what I will be doing. Starting all over again, it's going to be rough, but we're going to make it.
I am going back to school. Whoo hoo.....no that is not excitement in my voice.....it is fake, contrived. I am convincing myself to do the "right" thing. I am enrolling in a paralegal program through University of Davis....UCD.......... my ex gets his wish. I will have a real job vs.....a hobby. Thank you!
42 years old and starting all over again. Thanks.
Hope you can come up with half of the tuition.......oh, about? $3500.00. Thank you.
Thank you for taking another piece of my heart.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
The Knot
I am sure that all of us know the term "to tie the knot." Duh. I am not even going to explain that term because it would be an insult to all of our intelligence. Uneccessary.
Ok........well, in 1985.....I "tied the knot." Only? The term has come to mean a completely different thing to me 21 1/2 years later.
Not only did I tie the knot? I married the KNOT! It is a very weird description that even my counselor was quite puzzled by. After I explained why I referred to Narty (ex's new name.....referrence to Narcissism) as a knot, she broke into laughter. She also told me she never had anyone describe their spouse as a knot......but, a knot is the only descriptive I could come up with. And? It fits!
To give a little background, I am going under hypnosis next week to "aid" me in mediation. Like most narcissists, my ex. firmly believes he is flawless, faultless.......with out blame.......and I am the ONE with problems. Ok........he can sure make me APPEAR to be problamatic because he can control my emotions. No, I am not absolving myself from any blame; I am merely stating he DOES have that much control. I have ENABLED him to have this much control.
He can give an exasperated look, roll his eyes, say something under his breath...whatever else, and can elicit such anger and rage from me that no one on this planet could ever accomplish. In other words? He brings out the worse in me! The absolute worse. I hate the person I am when I am near that man.
My counselor wanted me to describe him in complete detail. He's a nice looking man..charming as most narcissists are....but? Ok........this is me being catty.......Lay off the hair dye! Dark hair is very hard to tint. I have very dark hair and covering grey can be a challenge. It can turn orange. Gross orange! I don't know what this man is using, but his dark hair is orange. Oh, well....Sugar Mamma must like orange hair. Or? Quit being so damn cheap and pay a professional!
And? He needs to shed some poundage. I am sure with out knowing the first thing about even how to boil water leads one to eat crap. Not my problem! But, he better produce some receipts to back his claim on spending $400.00 a month on groceries. Yeah, right!
She wanted me to describe his voice, body language, mannerisms, tone..etc.........So here it goes.
He ANNUCIATES EVERYTHING. He's more of a cerebral narcissists...so they're "smart" YOU ARE THE VILLAGE IDIOT. Whatever dude!
And? He takes very dramatic inhales....he's exasperated because you are such an idiot. (He fails to realize he talks in circles and assumes you know what he is talking about).
Example: He went to the store and bought that. Ok.....(I would ask) Who's he? And what did he buy?
Eyes would roll......dramatic inhale........
HIM.....You know? Larry. (ok I knew you were talking about Larry......NOT).
And he bought band aids.......I thought I told you this.
I seriously hate being mind fucked. And I have no patience so I would dramatically inhale and reply: I am sorry I did not have my crystal ball tuned to the "Narty Channel" and knew who and what the hell you were talking about.
Also, his forhead bunches into a KNOT....he taps his feet.....jitters.....he paces......his eyes get really big and he starts ANNUCIATING.......he is one big knot!
Only? I want to be taught how to NOT make the KNOT a noose! Or? Give him enough rope and let him hang himself!
Again....the man brings out the worst in me!
The KNOT is also contagious. When he takes the tone and becomes this God awfulperson, I develop a KNOT in my stomach. I then have trouble eating and will eventually shed a few pounds of my own. It's a very viscious cycle, the KNOT!
She then asked me what I determine to be the opposite of a knot. It took me awhile to come up with.....a kitten.
They are soft. It only takes one finger to stroke them. They purr rather loudly.........they cuddle...they love you unconditionally, and they are so cute! (I love cats!) Yes, I will be the 90 year old cat lady. Best part? They don't talk back!
Again..........she was puzzled by my word associations...........
Maybe, I am crazy.
Nope! I just have a very different imagination.
So, now............her job is to help me to look into the knot's eyes and? See a kitten.
This is going to be very interesting!
On the plus side?
I received a much begged for letter from my attorney yesterday. She drafted a letter to Narty's attorney stating that it's in his best interest to stop all communication with me unless it soley pertains to specific interests regarding our children and/or property. She told his attorney that he is constantly making deragatory comments to me and to our children about me. And? He's emotionally abusive.
He must also choose one day a week at a specific time to spend with the boyz. And? It has to be at his home or anywhere other than here! He needs to respect my privacy and not intrude on me. He also must mail support checks instead of using them as an excuse to come to my house and torture me.
Gee? I have begged him to do this for months. I feel I had to "tattle" on him to my attorney to get him to leave me the hell alone!
Nice......huh? And this is a grown man. A grown man that I conceived two children with.....EWWWWWW......not the children part......the conception part.........EWWWWWW.
Wonder how much that "letter" cost me.
Well, it was worth it. I haven't heard anything from him since Thursday. There really is a God!
Ok........well, in 1985.....I "tied the knot." Only? The term has come to mean a completely different thing to me 21 1/2 years later.
Not only did I tie the knot? I married the KNOT! It is a very weird description that even my counselor was quite puzzled by. After I explained why I referred to Narty (ex's new name.....referrence to Narcissism) as a knot, she broke into laughter. She also told me she never had anyone describe their spouse as a knot......but, a knot is the only descriptive I could come up with. And? It fits!
To give a little background, I am going under hypnosis next week to "aid" me in mediation. Like most narcissists, my ex. firmly believes he is flawless, faultless.......with out blame.......and I am the ONE with problems. Ok........he can sure make me APPEAR to be problamatic because he can control my emotions. No, I am not absolving myself from any blame; I am merely stating he DOES have that much control. I have ENABLED him to have this much control.
He can give an exasperated look, roll his eyes, say something under his breath...whatever else, and can elicit such anger and rage from me that no one on this planet could ever accomplish. In other words? He brings out the worse in me! The absolute worse. I hate the person I am when I am near that man.
My counselor wanted me to describe him in complete detail. He's a nice looking man..charming as most narcissists are....but? Ok........this is me being catty.......Lay off the hair dye! Dark hair is very hard to tint. I have very dark hair and covering grey can be a challenge. It can turn orange. Gross orange! I don't know what this man is using, but his dark hair is orange. Oh, well....Sugar Mamma must like orange hair. Or? Quit being so damn cheap and pay a professional!
And? He needs to shed some poundage. I am sure with out knowing the first thing about even how to boil water leads one to eat crap. Not my problem! But, he better produce some receipts to back his claim on spending $400.00 a month on groceries. Yeah, right!
She wanted me to describe his voice, body language, mannerisms, tone..etc.........So here it goes.
He ANNUCIATES EVERYTHING. He's more of a cerebral narcissists...so they're "smart" YOU ARE THE VILLAGE IDIOT. Whatever dude!
And? He takes very dramatic inhales....he's exasperated because you are such an idiot. (He fails to realize he talks in circles and assumes you know what he is talking about).
Example: He went to the store and bought that. Ok.....(I would ask) Who's he? And what did he buy?
Eyes would roll......dramatic inhale........
HIM.....You know? Larry. (ok I knew you were talking about Larry......NOT).
And he bought band aids.......I thought I told you this.
I seriously hate being mind fucked. And I have no patience so I would dramatically inhale and reply: I am sorry I did not have my crystal ball tuned to the "Narty Channel" and knew who and what the hell you were talking about.
Also, his forhead bunches into a KNOT....he taps his feet.....jitters.....he paces......his eyes get really big and he starts ANNUCIATING.......he is one big knot!
Only? I want to be taught how to NOT make the KNOT a noose! Or? Give him enough rope and let him hang himself!
Again....the man brings out the worst in me!
The KNOT is also contagious. When he takes the tone and becomes this God awfulperson, I develop a KNOT in my stomach. I then have trouble eating and will eventually shed a few pounds of my own. It's a very viscious cycle, the KNOT!
She then asked me what I determine to be the opposite of a knot. It took me awhile to come up with.....a kitten.
They are soft. It only takes one finger to stroke them. They purr rather loudly.........they cuddle...they love you unconditionally, and they are so cute! (I love cats!) Yes, I will be the 90 year old cat lady. Best part? They don't talk back!
Again..........she was puzzled by my word associations...........
Maybe, I am crazy.
Nope! I just have a very different imagination.
So, now............her job is to help me to look into the knot's eyes and? See a kitten.
This is going to be very interesting!
On the plus side?
I received a much begged for letter from my attorney yesterday. She drafted a letter to Narty's attorney stating that it's in his best interest to stop all communication with me unless it soley pertains to specific interests regarding our children and/or property. She told his attorney that he is constantly making deragatory comments to me and to our children about me. And? He's emotionally abusive.
He must also choose one day a week at a specific time to spend with the boyz. And? It has to be at his home or anywhere other than here! He needs to respect my privacy and not intrude on me. He also must mail support checks instead of using them as an excuse to come to my house and torture me.
Gee? I have begged him to do this for months. I feel I had to "tattle" on him to my attorney to get him to leave me the hell alone!
Nice......huh? And this is a grown man. A grown man that I conceived two children with.....EWWWWWW......not the children part......the conception part.........EWWWWWW.
Wonder how much that "letter" cost me.
Well, it was worth it. I haven't heard anything from him since Thursday. There really is a God!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
A New Lease on Life
I have repeatedly stated to not take this life for granted. Ever. It is way too short to make that mistake. Since receiving a clean bill of health, thank you so much, God, I am now in rapid fire mode to move my life forward.
I listed several goals a few posts ago (It' Scarry and I Hate It ......such-strong-word) and slowly but surely, I am working on several. I did go check out a gym but, we were so mislead. Bottom line: it was a single's bar. No kidding. A single's bar with cardio. What I completely got pissed at was being told they had a basketball court for Sweetie............yes, they did. However, at a different location. I still can not understand why this was not explained to me initially when, I thought, I communicated ALL of OUR needs and desires. Whatever....... If I wanted the location about 15 minutes from my house as opposed to the one Downtown where I live, I would have called them........idiots!
Oh, the spa that I need for my back and pinched nerves? Well, it is surrounded by glass so every idiot in the gym working out AND checking their e-mail in unison can watch me. No, I am not the narcissist! Yes, I am still in fairly good shape for my age but: I am 42 years old, have had two children, and refuse to sit in a jacuzzi with strangers AND be on stage. T'ain't happening!
We won't even go into the fact that YOGA is offered only once a week.......Move on and find another gym.
I am attending an orientaion next week regarding a paralegal studies program through UCD....great school. MY lawyer is hoping I change my mind and attend law school. Personally, I think I am too old........I dunno.........but going back to school is a priority.
I always hug or at least try to, my kids daily........I guess that really isn't a goal. It's just what I do.
Ok? The ring? I get the ring! I am supposed to be looking for a Ruby in White Gold. Rubies are my favorite stone (red and I look awful in gold....silver moon child here) and my Zodiac Birth Stone. I just happen to fall a few days short from being a July baby but a Cancer (typical) nonetheless. So, a Ruby it is! (I don't think he knows the cost of Rubies.......).
Oh, he's agreed (Sweetie) to go to Italy with me in the Fall. We are going to Southern Italy where my family is from. A friend of mine owns a house (just catered her mother's funeral) about 75 miles from my grandparent's village. We get her home. It is over 300 years old! Cool!
He was very hessitant about going because? Well, Southern Italy can be dangerous. I look very Italian so I will not have any trouble "blending in." But, Sweetie? He's black..........I might be able to pass him off as Sicilian.........Joke........ Please! My father is very dark skinned.
But, to be fair? They don't really care for Americans in general........Those nice Italian shoes you own? They are the rejects. Trust me! I deal with Italians and Italian Americans on a regular, daily basis! They love our money and our willingness to spend it.
I am going to brush up on the language. I can understand.........way more than I can speak..........way more! But, it has to be spoken.......s......l....o......w.......l.......y. And they don't get slowly! So, I am going to return to the Italian Cultural Society and "hone" up on my Italian.
Now, I do not know if it was HIS Long Island ( I drink wine) talking last night or what. But, he wants to get married there. Wow, my divorce isn't quite final yet and I thought you were my best friend? You wanna kill our friendship with marriage? C'mon! Let's just be finaces.......forever.
Or? We live in California. We can be Domestic Partners............It's kinda Ca.'s answer to gay marriages..........only it has crossed over to the "straight" world. You have to live here to get what the hell I am talking about. And, you don't wanna live here! You pay out the ass for 300+ days of sunshine......whatever, clouded by smog!
Also, next fall? I believe I will be able to take "said minor" out of the country. And you know what? I don't feel anything will stop me if I can't. What's narcissist going to do? Take me back to court? I don't-think-so! That would cost his cheap ass money!
The singing part......hmmmmm.......another "issue" I pondered last night. Yes, I think I will call a few vocal coaches tomorrow. One's that specialize in traditional jazz and or standards. That is where I feel my stregnths are. No opera! NO SHOW TUNES, please. I hate to stereo type but a lot of male vocal coaches LOVE the show tunes. Nah!
So, I am making progress on my goals! Yes, I most definitely am!
Next week, I go under hypnosis to deal with the KNOT. I will post about the KNOT in a few days. It's my own descriptive about my soon to be ex........You will get it when I explain.
Ciao and ti ammo,
angie!
I listed several goals a few posts ago (It' Scarry and I Hate It ......such-strong-word) and slowly but surely, I am working on several. I did go check out a gym but, we were so mislead. Bottom line: it was a single's bar. No kidding. A single's bar with cardio. What I completely got pissed at was being told they had a basketball court for Sweetie............yes, they did. However, at a different location. I still can not understand why this was not explained to me initially when, I thought, I communicated ALL of OUR needs and desires. Whatever....... If I wanted the location about 15 minutes from my house as opposed to the one Downtown where I live, I would have called them........idiots!
Oh, the spa that I need for my back and pinched nerves? Well, it is surrounded by glass so every idiot in the gym working out AND checking their e-mail in unison can watch me. No, I am not the narcissist! Yes, I am still in fairly good shape for my age but: I am 42 years old, have had two children, and refuse to sit in a jacuzzi with strangers AND be on stage. T'ain't happening!
We won't even go into the fact that YOGA is offered only once a week.......Move on and find another gym.
I am attending an orientaion next week regarding a paralegal studies program through UCD....great school. MY lawyer is hoping I change my mind and attend law school. Personally, I think I am too old........I dunno.........but going back to school is a priority.
I always hug or at least try to, my kids daily........I guess that really isn't a goal. It's just what I do.
Ok? The ring? I get the ring! I am supposed to be looking for a Ruby in White Gold. Rubies are my favorite stone (red and I look awful in gold....silver moon child here) and my Zodiac Birth Stone. I just happen to fall a few days short from being a July baby but a Cancer (typical) nonetheless. So, a Ruby it is! (I don't think he knows the cost of Rubies.......).
Oh, he's agreed (Sweetie) to go to Italy with me in the Fall. We are going to Southern Italy where my family is from. A friend of mine owns a house (just catered her mother's funeral) about 75 miles from my grandparent's village. We get her home. It is over 300 years old! Cool!
He was very hessitant about going because? Well, Southern Italy can be dangerous. I look very Italian so I will not have any trouble "blending in." But, Sweetie? He's black..........I might be able to pass him off as Sicilian.........Joke........ Please! My father is very dark skinned.
But, to be fair? They don't really care for Americans in general........Those nice Italian shoes you own? They are the rejects. Trust me! I deal with Italians and Italian Americans on a regular, daily basis! They love our money and our willingness to spend it.
I am going to brush up on the language. I can understand.........way more than I can speak..........way more! But, it has to be spoken.......s......l....o......w.......l.......y. And they don't get slowly! So, I am going to return to the Italian Cultural Society and "hone" up on my Italian.
Now, I do not know if it was HIS Long Island ( I drink wine) talking last night or what. But, he wants to get married there. Wow, my divorce isn't quite final yet and I thought you were my best friend? You wanna kill our friendship with marriage? C'mon! Let's just be finaces.......forever.
Or? We live in California. We can be Domestic Partners............It's kinda Ca.'s answer to gay marriages..........only it has crossed over to the "straight" world. You have to live here to get what the hell I am talking about. And, you don't wanna live here! You pay out the ass for 300+ days of sunshine......whatever, clouded by smog!
Also, next fall? I believe I will be able to take "said minor" out of the country. And you know what? I don't feel anything will stop me if I can't. What's narcissist going to do? Take me back to court? I don't-think-so! That would cost his cheap ass money!
The singing part......hmmmmm.......another "issue" I pondered last night. Yes, I think I will call a few vocal coaches tomorrow. One's that specialize in traditional jazz and or standards. That is where I feel my stregnths are. No opera! NO SHOW TUNES, please. I hate to stereo type but a lot of male vocal coaches LOVE the show tunes. Nah!
So, I am making progress on my goals! Yes, I most definitely am!
Next week, I go under hypnosis to deal with the KNOT. I will post about the KNOT in a few days. It's my own descriptive about my soon to be ex........You will get it when I explain.
Ciao and ti ammo,
angie!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
You Wanna Piece of Me Too?
Ok....do I have bulls-eye or a kick me sign on my back? This 'meme" just in from my cousin......It must be free floating the net because I actually read this on Missy's Big Fish Stories Blog. I think this is everyone's evil trick (or post April Fool's gag) to get me to sit still. I am damn, it. I have not done anything worth while all day!!! I can stay still. I am not ADHD. i even sent younger boyz' girlfriend to get me coffee. Does that make you all happy?
Ok......here goes round two.......And, this is the final round! No more, thanks to all of my well meaning friends and family....but, no more, please. I love you and I know you only have my best interest in heart......but, answering a ton of questions is considered strenuous activity in my world. But, I love you. Grazie!
1. What do you wish your name was? I like my name.......nothing wrong with it. Angela...There are a ton of them in my family..but why not one more?
2. What is your favorite thing to wear? Depending on the situation. I love my jeans, my sweats, shorts but a nice little black skirt can be so fun!
3. Last thing you ate….bbq chicken...take out, just an hour ago......deeeeeeeeleeeeeeee. Like my oldest used to say when he was learning to talk.
4. Favorite quote? I have several........Jesus was a liberal......anyone can stick his dick in a woman and have a kid but it takes a real man to raise one......Don't blame me for You........I have a ton!
5. I say Shotgun, you say? Shoot 'em 'fore they run now.
Do the jerk, baby
Do the dirty now (Jr. Walker and the All Stars).......Hey, you asked!
6. Last person you hugged? Sweetie, this morning as he was leaving for work
7. Africa or Mexico? Mexico....maybe.........rum and seafood tacos or cerviche(?) I don't like tequilla!
8. How many U.S states have you been to? Wow. ok....hold on..... about 10? I think
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 2, but only consider one. I was born in Nevada and my father was soon transferred to California. Thank you, there is truely a God!
10. Does anyone you know wanna date you? Yes, I am dating him.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My eyes? My hair? Either of the two
12. Something you don’t? My height or lack there of
13. Who is your best friend? Sweetie
14.Why are you still up? Please, it's only 9:00. I am not that old.
15. Who/What made you angry today? Memes!!!!!!! Damn, it!
16. Favorite type of Food? Italian or anything that comes from the water.
17. Favorite holidays? Probably Christmas Eve. Huge Italian holiday with a ton of great food.
18. Do you download music? Yes, constantly.
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? My BOYZ steel my socks........you heard right........I don't have a chance to get them dirty.
20. What are you wearing right now? Sweats, a lavendar t-shirt and an old lady bra to support my biopsied boob.....you asked!
21. Would you date the person who posted this? My cousin? Please! This isn't Arkansas! Or Utah!
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes, constantly
23. Do you love anyone? Yes, I love my kids, my family, my sweetie......sometimes, however, I don't like them. Huge difference.
24. Do you like George W. Bush? Oh! HELL NO! Crazy, dumb ass RED NECK. Worst president EVER!!!!!!!! The W is for Worst!!!!
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? No, hate heights.....scared to death!
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? Yes, another dumb-ass thing. I can't swim...........Heathen teenage years......probably one of the stupidest things besides marrying so young I have ever done!
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yes...........pimp daddy/Mac Daddy at the Blues Club...regularly.....see earlier posts.
28. How much money ya got in ya pocket? I am wearing sweats.....senza pockets
29. Have you met a real redneck? Yes.........and thankfully, not too many! Another indication there is a God!
30. How is the weather right now? Great! Might be close to 80 this weekend.
31. What are you listening to right now? The Kings getting their asses kicked........(Basketball). No play off hope there!
32. What is your current fave song? I don't really listen to top 40....like my oldies........don't have a fave.
33. What was the last movie you watched? I seriously can't recall.
34. Do you wear contacts? Yes, occasionally.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? To pick up bbq chicken
36. What are you afraid of? My narcissistic soon to be ex husband!
37. How many piercings have you had? 4......2 in each ear
38. How many pets do you have? 2 cats and a pain in the ass dog. I am hoping my soon to be ex is awarded custody of said pain in the ass dog! i refuse to negotiate on said minor!
39. What’s one thing you’ve learned? Don't ever take this life for granted!
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? I patronize mom and pop coffee shops!
42. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and knocked on my ass in the process! Never again!
43. Are you missing someone? Yes, I wish Sweetie was here tonight.
44. Fav. TV show? All Law and Order......Original, CI, SVU
45. Do you have an iPod? 2....just gave one to Sweetie. The best invention ever!
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? My twin......literally....would be Julia Dreyfus.......whatever.....yes, we are twins.....Elaine, Christine......whatever, we are twins. I have had too many, including this one, conversations regarding our very similar looks! (And Elaine's personality). Only? I can dance...Elaine can not!
48. Who would you like to see right now? Sweetie
49. Favorite movie of all time? Godfather 1 and2.........A Bronx Tale...........(chick flick): Fried Green Tomatoes
50. Do you find yourself loved? Very much so! Very much so.....by my well-meaning family.......friends, boyz and Sweetie......all of the time. I am happy. I have a ton of love!
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to? Of course!
52. Favorite flower? A Red Rose
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Butter
54. What Magazines are you reading? None, currently.....oh, I forgot the chiropractor's office.......Newsweek
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? A few times
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Not recently, thank you, God!
58. What’s something that really bugs you? Rude, self-absorbed, dim witted people.....usually anyone who works in "customer service."
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? When he was part of the 5.
61. What’s your favorite smell? il Baccio.........(it's a perfume).
62. Favorite baseball team? NY Yankees
63. Favorite cereal? Not really a breakfast fan
65. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep? I can't recall.
66. Last time you went bowling? Damn.........2 zillion years ago? I suck at bowling!
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? On the ground! Who, seriously invented the concept of camping? C'mon!
68. Who was your last phone call? Just a second ago.....the ex! He's massaging his conscience and, I guess, trying to be nice? Can't let the guard down! Narcissist!
69. Last time you were at work? Friday.
70. What’s the closest orange object to you? Nothing......I am looking around me and there is no orange and the sun is down......Wow! No orange. A ton of red....but no orange.
Ok......here goes round two.......And, this is the final round! No more, thanks to all of my well meaning friends and family....but, no more, please. I love you and I know you only have my best interest in heart......but, answering a ton of questions is considered strenuous activity in my world. But, I love you. Grazie!
1. What do you wish your name was? I like my name.......nothing wrong with it. Angela...There are a ton of them in my family..but why not one more?
2. What is your favorite thing to wear? Depending on the situation. I love my jeans, my sweats, shorts but a nice little black skirt can be so fun!
3. Last thing you ate….bbq chicken...take out, just an hour ago......deeeeeeeeleeeeeeee. Like my oldest used to say when he was learning to talk.
4. Favorite quote? I have several........Jesus was a liberal......anyone can stick his dick in a woman and have a kid but it takes a real man to raise one......Don't blame me for You........I have a ton!
5. I say Shotgun, you say? Shoot 'em 'fore they run now.
Do the jerk, baby
Do the dirty now (Jr. Walker and the All Stars).......Hey, you asked!
6. Last person you hugged? Sweetie, this morning as he was leaving for work
7. Africa or Mexico? Mexico....maybe.........rum and seafood tacos or cerviche(?) I don't like tequilla!
8. How many U.S states have you been to? Wow. ok....hold on..... about 10? I think
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 2, but only consider one. I was born in Nevada and my father was soon transferred to California. Thank you, there is truely a God!
10. Does anyone you know wanna date you? Yes, I am dating him.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My eyes? My hair? Either of the two
12. Something you don’t? My height or lack there of
13. Who is your best friend? Sweetie
14.Why are you still up? Please, it's only 9:00. I am not that old.
15. Who/What made you angry today? Memes!!!!!!! Damn, it!
16. Favorite type of Food? Italian or anything that comes from the water.
17. Favorite holidays? Probably Christmas Eve. Huge Italian holiday with a ton of great food.
18. Do you download music? Yes, constantly.
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? My BOYZ steel my socks........you heard right........I don't have a chance to get them dirty.
20. What are you wearing right now? Sweats, a lavendar t-shirt and an old lady bra to support my biopsied boob.....you asked!
21. Would you date the person who posted this? My cousin? Please! This isn't Arkansas! Or Utah!
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes, constantly
23. Do you love anyone? Yes, I love my kids, my family, my sweetie......sometimes, however, I don't like them. Huge difference.
24. Do you like George W. Bush? Oh! HELL NO! Crazy, dumb ass RED NECK. Worst president EVER!!!!!!!! The W is for Worst!!!!
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? No, hate heights.....scared to death!
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? Yes, another dumb-ass thing. I can't swim...........Heathen teenage years......probably one of the stupidest things besides marrying so young I have ever done!
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yes...........pimp daddy/Mac Daddy at the Blues Club...regularly.....see earlier posts.
28. How much money ya got in ya pocket? I am wearing sweats.....senza pockets
29. Have you met a real redneck? Yes.........and thankfully, not too many! Another indication there is a God!
30. How is the weather right now? Great! Might be close to 80 this weekend.
31. What are you listening to right now? The Kings getting their asses kicked........(Basketball). No play off hope there!
32. What is your current fave song? I don't really listen to top 40....like my oldies........don't have a fave.
33. What was the last movie you watched? I seriously can't recall.
34. Do you wear contacts? Yes, occasionally.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? To pick up bbq chicken
36. What are you afraid of? My narcissistic soon to be ex husband!
37. How many piercings have you had? 4......2 in each ear
38. How many pets do you have? 2 cats and a pain in the ass dog. I am hoping my soon to be ex is awarded custody of said pain in the ass dog! i refuse to negotiate on said minor!
39. What’s one thing you’ve learned? Don't ever take this life for granted!
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? I patronize mom and pop coffee shops!
42. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and knocked on my ass in the process! Never again!
43. Are you missing someone? Yes, I wish Sweetie was here tonight.
44. Fav. TV show? All Law and Order......Original, CI, SVU
45. Do you have an iPod? 2....just gave one to Sweetie. The best invention ever!
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? My twin......literally....would be Julia Dreyfus.......whatever.....yes, we are twins.....Elaine, Christine......whatever, we are twins. I have had too many, including this one, conversations regarding our very similar looks! (And Elaine's personality). Only? I can dance...Elaine can not!
48. Who would you like to see right now? Sweetie
49. Favorite movie of all time? Godfather 1 and2.........A Bronx Tale...........(chick flick): Fried Green Tomatoes
50. Do you find yourself loved? Very much so! Very much so.....by my well-meaning family.......friends, boyz and Sweetie......all of the time. I am happy. I have a ton of love!
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to? Of course!
52. Favorite flower? A Red Rose
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Butter
54. What Magazines are you reading? None, currently.....oh, I forgot the chiropractor's office.......Newsweek
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? A few times
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Not recently, thank you, God!
58. What’s something that really bugs you? Rude, self-absorbed, dim witted people.....usually anyone who works in "customer service."
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? When he was part of the 5.
61. What’s your favorite smell? il Baccio.........(it's a perfume).
62. Favorite baseball team? NY Yankees
63. Favorite cereal? Not really a breakfast fan
65. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep? I can't recall.
66. Last time you went bowling? Damn.........2 zillion years ago? I suck at bowling!
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? On the ground! Who, seriously invented the concept of camping? C'mon!
68. Who was your last phone call? Just a second ago.....the ex! He's massaging his conscience and, I guess, trying to be nice? Can't let the guard down! Narcissist!
69. Last time you were at work? Friday.
70. What’s the closest orange object to you? Nothing......I am looking around me and there is no orange and the sun is down......Wow! No orange. A ton of red....but no orange.
The Results are In
I had my breast biopsy yesterday which went far better than I imagined. I just can't do much of anything for the next few days. I am really not in any pain.....I am sure there will be some bruising. But all in all, I feel pretty damn good!
My mom was the greatest support ever! I know she was hoping my vallium would kick in, but the weird part? It never did. I have only taken Vallium twice in my life and have gotten pretty looped from that tiny, tiny pill. But yesterday? It didn't do anything. I was starting to get very impatient (anxious) because the staff was running about an hour late. I just wanted to get it done and over with and go home.
The biopsy itself took about? Hmmmmmm 15 minutes from start to finish.......total. But, it reminded me of taking a plane trip. You spend more time in the airports that up in the air. That was the same with this proceedure. I was at the radiologist's office for about three hours for an 15 minute proceedure.
The doctor was great. Before he began, he called me back into his office to explain the proceedure to me AND: to reassure me that, he felt, was just a formality. He stated, even with out the pathology report, he was 99.9% positive that my "nodule" was benign. So why was I there?
Easy answer. I would much rather be safe than sorry. For the time being, I have medical insurance so why not be there?
I just got off the phone with my primary physician and the "nodule" is definitely benign and probably is sitting in some "bio-waste" container! Whoo Hoo! As soon as I am able to get my butt in the shower..........1 hour and counting.........I am taking my kids out to dinner! This is cause for celebration not just for my physical health but for my mental as well.
Do you know how this shit plays on your brain? It's torture.
Oh, the good one?
I pick up my paper this morning and on the front page is an article (thank you, American College of Physicians) saying that perhaps women in their 40's should NOT have mammograms. What????? Are you trying to save the insurance industry money? Please! Two days ago, the "headlines" were stating the benefits of an MRI in breast cancer awareness/treatment.
http://www.acponline.org/
They claim mammograms lead to unnecessary biopsys..........I would much rather have a needle in my boob that having the whole thing removed!!!!!! Get Real!
WTF??????
My OB/GYN that delivered my youngest boy was a huge supporter of women at 35 receiving mammograms. I was "excused" due to that wonderful Mediterranean blood (Italian/Greek).
He sent me in at 40 and then decided everyother year would be acceptable. Well, this was my second mammogram and wow!!!!! I went from 0-120mph in a matter of two years. As of late, I think I have had a total of about a dozen or so pictures taken of my breasts in the last month.
I seriously hope they recant their "recommendation." Seriously!!!!!!
But, once the medical insurance industry is armed with this info............I think most of us will be into our 50's before we are x-rayed. We can't buy this. I now have to go in every six months followed with an ultra-sound. Just precautionary but....see above: better safe than sorry.
We need to take control over this issue! Breast Cancer is the most common cancer in women after skin cancer and the second leading cancer killer after lung.
Get Real!!!!!
I thank everyone for their prayers and support! It all meant the world to me!!!!! Thank you!
Ciao,
angie
My mom was the greatest support ever! I know she was hoping my vallium would kick in, but the weird part? It never did. I have only taken Vallium twice in my life and have gotten pretty looped from that tiny, tiny pill. But yesterday? It didn't do anything. I was starting to get very impatient (anxious) because the staff was running about an hour late. I just wanted to get it done and over with and go home.
The biopsy itself took about? Hmmmmmm 15 minutes from start to finish.......total. But, it reminded me of taking a plane trip. You spend more time in the airports that up in the air. That was the same with this proceedure. I was at the radiologist's office for about three hours for an 15 minute proceedure.
The doctor was great. Before he began, he called me back into his office to explain the proceedure to me AND: to reassure me that, he felt, was just a formality. He stated, even with out the pathology report, he was 99.9% positive that my "nodule" was benign. So why was I there?
Easy answer. I would much rather be safe than sorry. For the time being, I have medical insurance so why not be there?
I just got off the phone with my primary physician and the "nodule" is definitely benign and probably is sitting in some "bio-waste" container! Whoo Hoo! As soon as I am able to get my butt in the shower..........1 hour and counting.........I am taking my kids out to dinner! This is cause for celebration not just for my physical health but for my mental as well.
Do you know how this shit plays on your brain? It's torture.
Oh, the good one?
I pick up my paper this morning and on the front page is an article (thank you, American College of Physicians) saying that perhaps women in their 40's should NOT have mammograms. What????? Are you trying to save the insurance industry money? Please! Two days ago, the "headlines" were stating the benefits of an MRI in breast cancer awareness/treatment.
http://www.acponline.org/
They claim mammograms lead to unnecessary biopsys..........I would much rather have a needle in my boob that having the whole thing removed!!!!!! Get Real!
WTF??????
My OB/GYN that delivered my youngest boy was a huge supporter of women at 35 receiving mammograms. I was "excused" due to that wonderful Mediterranean blood (Italian/Greek).
He sent me in at 40 and then decided everyother year would be acceptable. Well, this was my second mammogram and wow!!!!! I went from 0-120mph in a matter of two years. As of late, I think I have had a total of about a dozen or so pictures taken of my breasts in the last month.
I seriously hope they recant their "recommendation." Seriously!!!!!!
But, once the medical insurance industry is armed with this info............I think most of us will be into our 50's before we are x-rayed. We can't buy this. I now have to go in every six months followed with an ultra-sound. Just precautionary but....see above: better safe than sorry.
We need to take control over this issue! Breast Cancer is the most common cancer in women after skin cancer and the second leading cancer killer after lung.
Get Real!!!!!
I thank everyone for their prayers and support! It all meant the world to me!!!!! Thank you!
Ciao,
angie
Tag
Tagged by my bestfriend of many years. Thank you, best gf. I think it is her way of making me sit still and not do anything other than type with my laptop on me. Breast biopsy, yesterday......not supposed to do anything strenuous........I guess typing is not considered strenuous. Answering these long, drawn out questions is, however.
Karma...........keep that in mind Guilia!
Ok.........here it goes......I will talk about the needle in the boob thing later.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00......Basically, the usual.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls.......my REAL birthstone..........not that pink thing for June
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? DreamGirls......on Christmas night with Sweetie. He called it a chick flick.
4. What is your favourite TV show? Anything Law and Order
5. What did you have for breakfast? 3 shot Soy Mocha
6. What is your middle name? Haven't had one for 21 years.
7. What is your favourite food? Pasta/and anthing that comes out of water
8. What foods do you dislike? Mushrooms! Funcking Fungus. Probably one of the few Italians that despise them. Shower scum.
9. Favourite chip? Pita
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Don't really have one....my iTunes Library
11. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Solara
12. What is your favourite sandwich? Turkey?....maybe or grilled vegetable Panini with Pesto
13. What characteristic do you despise? Narcissism.........legally married to one for 21 years. They are scary!
14. What are your favourite clothes? Depending on the situation......right now, sweats.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Italy
16. Where would you want to retire? Northern California Coast.........Sonoma County
17. Favourite time of day? Early evening when all dishes are done and I can kick back with a glass of wine and watch a Law and Order repeat.
18. Where were you born? Nevada
19. Who do you think will not respond to this? ???? I dunno.....perhaps another fool who can't do anything strenuous for a few days?
20. Person you expect to respond this? My hope? ANYONE WHO READS THIS.....TAG YOU'RE IT!
21. Beavers or ducks? I guess ducks. Beavers are distructive little vermon.
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning person once I have some coffee in my system.
23. Pedicure or manicure? Used to be both until I caught a little fungus thing that turned into a staph infection.....neither....not worth it!
24. Share? I always share.
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher or a lawyer
26. What is your best childhood memory? Oh wow! I have so many! I was blessed with a great childhood. Too many to list.
27. Piercings? 4......2 in each ear.
28. Ever been to Africa or Alaska Neither.
29. Ever been toilet papering? Yes! Several times durring my Heathen middle school years. I was a Heathen child.
30. Been in a car accident? A few......never any of them my fault, thankfully. One was pretty major.
31. Favourite day of the week? Friday.
32. Favourite restaurant? My own! I trust my cooking vs. others
33. Favourite ice cream? Lactose intollerant....but if I could eat it? Dark Chocolate.....Gelato is better, tho.
34. Favourite fast food restaurant? In-and-Out Cheeseburger....but I don't eat red meat anymore.........so I have to find a new one.
35. Last email? A great letter from my brother wishing me the best with my biopsy.......oh, and Guilia's tag thing.
36. What was the last movie that you rented? I can't think of the name.....Ice-T as a man being hunted by hunters........It's good.
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Definitely..........Macy's
38. Bedtime? Depends on what night in question.......school nights? (work) about 10-11
39. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I dunno!
40. Last person you went to dinner with? Sweetie.......I tried to take HIM out on Saturday for helping me with my boy's hippie van, but he wouldn't let me pay. We split a seafood gumbo at one of our favorite Carribian(?) place.
41. What are you listening to right now? Silence and the occasional ckicking of my MacBook keyboard.
42. What is your favourite color? Red
43. How many tattoos do you have? None, thankfully!
44. Favourite magazine? Bon Appetite
45. What book are you reading? None lately
46. Weirdest thing in your purse or wallet at the moment? 2,000 receipts for God only know's what. Oh, a pamphlet on Breast Disease........I hope, later today, that will be in the trash!
47. If you had one wish, what would it be? Ok......I'll sound like a Miss America contestant: World Peace! Send our troops home. Our "game plan" isn't working.
Now, it's your turn! Read this and you get to answer 47 questions. Take your time.
Ciao,
angie
Karma...........keep that in mind Guilia!
Ok.........here it goes......I will talk about the needle in the boob thing later.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00......Basically, the usual.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls.......my REAL birthstone..........not that pink thing for June
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? DreamGirls......on Christmas night with Sweetie. He called it a chick flick.
4. What is your favourite TV show? Anything Law and Order
5. What did you have for breakfast? 3 shot Soy Mocha
6. What is your middle name? Haven't had one for 21 years.
7. What is your favourite food? Pasta/and anthing that comes out of water
8. What foods do you dislike? Mushrooms! Funcking Fungus. Probably one of the few Italians that despise them. Shower scum.
9. Favourite chip? Pita
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Don't really have one....my iTunes Library
11. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Solara
12. What is your favourite sandwich? Turkey?....maybe or grilled vegetable Panini with Pesto
13. What characteristic do you despise? Narcissism.........legally married to one for 21 years. They are scary!
14. What are your favourite clothes? Depending on the situation......right now, sweats.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Italy
16. Where would you want to retire? Northern California Coast.........Sonoma County
17. Favourite time of day? Early evening when all dishes are done and I can kick back with a glass of wine and watch a Law and Order repeat.
18. Where were you born? Nevada
19. Who do you think will not respond to this? ???? I dunno.....perhaps another fool who can't do anything strenuous for a few days?
20. Person you expect to respond this? My hope? ANYONE WHO READS THIS.....TAG YOU'RE IT!
21. Beavers or ducks? I guess ducks. Beavers are distructive little vermon.
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning person once I have some coffee in my system.
23. Pedicure or manicure? Used to be both until I caught a little fungus thing that turned into a staph infection.....neither....not worth it!
24. Share? I always share.
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher or a lawyer
26. What is your best childhood memory? Oh wow! I have so many! I was blessed with a great childhood. Too many to list.
27. Piercings? 4......2 in each ear.
28. Ever been to Africa or Alaska Neither.
29. Ever been toilet papering? Yes! Several times durring my Heathen middle school years. I was a Heathen child.
30. Been in a car accident? A few......never any of them my fault, thankfully. One was pretty major.
31. Favourite day of the week? Friday.
32. Favourite restaurant? My own! I trust my cooking vs. others
33. Favourite ice cream? Lactose intollerant....but if I could eat it? Dark Chocolate.....Gelato is better, tho.
34. Favourite fast food restaurant? In-and-Out Cheeseburger....but I don't eat red meat anymore.........so I have to find a new one.
35. Last email? A great letter from my brother wishing me the best with my biopsy.......oh, and Guilia's tag thing.
36. What was the last movie that you rented? I can't think of the name.....Ice-T as a man being hunted by hunters........It's good.
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Definitely..........Macy's
38. Bedtime? Depends on what night in question.......school nights? (work) about 10-11
39. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I dunno!
40. Last person you went to dinner with? Sweetie.......I tried to take HIM out on Saturday for helping me with my boy's hippie van, but he wouldn't let me pay. We split a seafood gumbo at one of our favorite Carribian(?) place.
41. What are you listening to right now? Silence and the occasional ckicking of my MacBook keyboard.
42. What is your favourite color? Red
43. How many tattoos do you have? None, thankfully!
44. Favourite magazine? Bon Appetite
45. What book are you reading? None lately
46. Weirdest thing in your purse or wallet at the moment? 2,000 receipts for God only know's what. Oh, a pamphlet on Breast Disease........I hope, later today, that will be in the trash!
47. If you had one wish, what would it be? Ok......I'll sound like a Miss America contestant: World Peace! Send our troops home. Our "game plan" isn't working.
Now, it's your turn! Read this and you get to answer 47 questions. Take your time.
Ciao,
angie
Sunday, April 1, 2007
New beginnings
When I orginally started "blogging" I thought that this would be a creative outlet for things I have done in the past and what brought me to the present. But, it has become more of a venting venue, which is fine and a place I can let out some of my pent up resentment, anger and frustrations. Again, fine.
But, I think I am going to become a little more definitive and TRY not to sway or get off course from my real goals.
My goals are now as follows:
This will be venting.........venting for a purpose. I may throw in a couple of stories, here and there, but that is because I people watch. It is a hobby of mine and I believe we all have a story and we can learn from others both good and bad. But, the stories I tell are real. They have happened and they are told to illustrate a point. For me, there is always a story behind a choice I make or am planning on making.
There are many people in my personal, professional and internet world that are going through tough times......or put more simply.........shit.
I want this to be a place where anyone can get out what is on his or her mind. Comment.
I want this to be a place for all to feel comfortable with who they are and what they would like to be.......just, please, no delusions of grandeur. No, I am doing a ton of research on Narcissism and that can't happen! Please. I am trying to recover from my own toxic, narcissistic relationship and how it has effected me. Don't grand stand.
I am going to link sites that I feel are very interesting and noteworthy of what is going on in today's society and how they may empower, help or whatever with the shit we are going through.
I will also, unless asked otherwise, direct or refer to blogs that I think relate to the subject(s) that may help or provide advise or answers to shit we are all dealing with.
This is the real world, people, and in my real world, we co-exist regardless of color, creed, sexual preference, gender, etc..........Prejudice will not be tollerated. Period. I will always refer to one of my favorite sayings to drive this point home: Jesus was a liberal.
Yes, I am a liberal........and very proud of it. I live in an inner city. A very nice neighborhood, but an inner city. I deal, on a daily basis, with people from all walks of life.
I am an Italian-American female who's significant other is an African-American male. Sometimes we culturally clash........but most of the time, we are color blind. He doesn't understand my pronunciation of some words or phrases because of an east coast accent, even though I have lived in California most of my life. And, I don't understand Southern accents, even though he has lived in California ALL of his life. That is our culture clash.
He one time called me up in the middle of the day to turn on a particular radio station. They were interviewing Alicia Keyes. He said......she sounds just like you. Listen. Well, duh.........she's from the East Coast and is half Italian.
So, going forward, we are taking a different approach and linking up usefull sites, blogs and rants. This can be helpful for all of us. Soon, if I can figure it out....Damn it, I cook. I am not a Mac Geek..........I will hook up my digital camera that my son's girlfriend (the one I like) helped me to ...........turn ON the ON switch and put some cool pictures on this blog.
In the mean time? Tomorrow, I go in for my breast biopsy. In my heart, I know I am going to be fine.
One last thing?
I suggest any female or male....but mostly females that have suffered from insecurities or doubting of self-worth that has been inflicted upon by a past or present partner, check out WikiAnswers.....go to narcissism. Very enlightening.
My counselor turned me on to that one. We may not be as crazy as we think!
Ciao,
angie
But, I think I am going to become a little more definitive and TRY not to sway or get off course from my real goals.
My goals are now as follows:
This will be venting.........venting for a purpose. I may throw in a couple of stories, here and there, but that is because I people watch. It is a hobby of mine and I believe we all have a story and we can learn from others both good and bad. But, the stories I tell are real. They have happened and they are told to illustrate a point. For me, there is always a story behind a choice I make or am planning on making.
There are many people in my personal, professional and internet world that are going through tough times......or put more simply.........shit.
I want this to be a place where anyone can get out what is on his or her mind. Comment.
I want this to be a place for all to feel comfortable with who they are and what they would like to be.......just, please, no delusions of grandeur. No, I am doing a ton of research on Narcissism and that can't happen! Please. I am trying to recover from my own toxic, narcissistic relationship and how it has effected me. Don't grand stand.
I am going to link sites that I feel are very interesting and noteworthy of what is going on in today's society and how they may empower, help or whatever with the shit we are going through.
I will also, unless asked otherwise, direct or refer to blogs that I think relate to the subject(s) that may help or provide advise or answers to shit we are all dealing with.
This is the real world, people, and in my real world, we co-exist regardless of color, creed, sexual preference, gender, etc..........Prejudice will not be tollerated. Period. I will always refer to one of my favorite sayings to drive this point home: Jesus was a liberal.
Yes, I am a liberal........and very proud of it. I live in an inner city. A very nice neighborhood, but an inner city. I deal, on a daily basis, with people from all walks of life.
I am an Italian-American female who's significant other is an African-American male. Sometimes we culturally clash........but most of the time, we are color blind. He doesn't understand my pronunciation of some words or phrases because of an east coast accent, even though I have lived in California most of my life. And, I don't understand Southern accents, even though he has lived in California ALL of his life. That is our culture clash.
He one time called me up in the middle of the day to turn on a particular radio station. They were interviewing Alicia Keyes. He said......she sounds just like you. Listen. Well, duh.........she's from the East Coast and is half Italian.
So, going forward, we are taking a different approach and linking up usefull sites, blogs and rants. This can be helpful for all of us. Soon, if I can figure it out....Damn it, I cook. I am not a Mac Geek..........I will hook up my digital camera that my son's girlfriend (the one I like) helped me to ...........turn ON the ON switch and put some cool pictures on this blog.
In the mean time? Tomorrow, I go in for my breast biopsy. In my heart, I know I am going to be fine.
One last thing?
I suggest any female or male....but mostly females that have suffered from insecurities or doubting of self-worth that has been inflicted upon by a past or present partner, check out WikiAnswers.....go to narcissism. Very enlightening.
My counselor turned me on to that one. We may not be as crazy as we think!
Ciao,
angie
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