Just Because I Know You're Dying to Know

A little bit about me:

I was born in a small town in Nevada. We moved to the East Bay area of California prior to my second birthday. Yes, my grandmother was in shambles seeing I was her first grandchild and definitely, forever, pissed at my father for taking her daughter and grand daughter to California and about 600+ miles away. At this ripe old age, I knew, for sure, that God truly existed. And, I thank him/her daily that I did not have to grow up in such a crappy, small minded place.

My other grandmother moved with us and stayed with us until she died. She was from Italy and spoke very little English. She had, oh about 18 other grand children and I happened to be the "baby" at that time, until my brother.....the boy...... came along and tore that to hell.....hehe. We used to spend many afternoons baking bread together......I never tasted "store-bought" bread until she died. We would walk up to the park and dance to Motown songs in our backyard. Also, she was the only living creature that could get me to take a nap. I hated them and was so afraid I would miss out on something if I slept. What goes around, comes around. My first son was the same way and, yeah...payback's a bitch.

We moved to the city I currently reside in when I was 4 years old. To this day, my mom does not know her way around and I know that this city has grown about 100 fold since 1968....but damn, she can't even figure out her own neighborhood! It's quite scary.

My brother was born shortly after we moved here. My world, as an only (yes, completely princess, spoiled girly-girl) came to a screeching hault one day in late April. He's pretty cool, now.....but as a little brother, he sucked as little brothers mostly do. He is named after Vince Lombardi.......the greatest football coach, according to my father, of all time. Part of my father's upper, mid-west roots followed him California. But, by the time little bro was born, my father jumped the Packer's ship for his new favorite team....the Raiders. Thank God, he didn't name my brother after Al Davis.

My family, including my own boys are Raider freaks. Everyone was so happy when they moved back to Northern California. My family, especially my father, are also very supersticious. I recieved my first lesson in "football time" when I was about 5 years old. Everytime I would come into the room to hang out with my pops, the Raider's would do something amazing. He caught on to this little sign rather quickly and decided to make me sit and watch the game, in its entirety, with him. OOOOO I was mad......and I kept asking....how much longer.....5 minutes, only 5 more minutes. Do you know how long 5 minutes is in football time? And, try making a very active 5 year old sit still that long! Torture! Hated it! But, the Raiders won and my pops accreditted me for the win.....yeah, right.


I loved elementary school but despised Jr. high and high school and did everything imaginable, exluding expolsion, to get out. I graduated early by attending college and high school at the same time. My younger boy is now doing the same. I just hated high school and especially the one I went to. My mother was under some wierd assumption that schools in the suburbs were great! They had no crime, racial tension, nor drugs.......yeah. But you had to be quite careful not to burst her rose colored bubble because that would mean Catholic school. And there was no way I was going to Catholic school, even though I sent my own kids for a greater portion of their early lives. My father, up until his senior year, attended Catholic school AND was kicked out. So, he kinda was our saving grace in that realm.....he was the subject of many nuns' pent-up frustrations and wrath. They were pretty violent and mean back in the 50's.

I always wanted to live in the Downtown area of my city since the time I was a young girl. I used to love coming down here with my father to pick up his check. Obviously, this was way before direct deposit. He would take us out to lunch and we would go look at the many old buildings and sites that were built during the Gold Rush. Shortly after my 20th birthday, I moved Downtown. I absolutely detested the conservative politics that prevailed in the suburbs and equally despised the cookie-cutter lifestyle. I always appreciated diversity and thrived on it. I love the fact that we still have "ethnic" sections of my city where you know you will find certain things. I won't even bore you with the fact that suburbs just lack character, identity and I hate chain restaurants and stores! (Excluding Macy's) No individuality nor character whatsoever!

I moved in with my boyfriend, who later became my husband. Yeah, that went over very well with my parents......NOT. My mother was going through a "liberation" phase of her life and had stated that she "hoped" that I would live with someone prior to marrying them because, well....you never fully know someone until you have lived with them. When I told them I was moving out with my boyfriend, she flipped! I thought, for sure, it would be my father doing all of the freaking out since I am the oldest, only girl and come from a fairly traditional Italian family....but, no.......it was my mother. So much for her liberation period.

I did the real dumb thing and got married when I turned 21. Yes, I am a statistic......my divorce will be final on New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is my least favorite holiday. I find it depressing and just awful. This year, however, I am going to party like a Rock Star and I hate that saying. This year has sucked so bad and on so many levels! Enough said about that.

I had my first son shortly before I turned 24 and my second son shortly after I turned 26. If you read this a few times, I know it will make sense. My ex, youngest boy and I all celebrate our birthday's on the same day of the week. My oldest is odd-man out. This year happens to be a Friday. I just celebrated my birthday last Friday.

I rushed growing up and had to accomplish everything in a hurry. I truely have no patience. And it's wierd how this concept goes in a complete circle. I rushed everything growing up, but now wish to slow it down because it is all moving waaaayyyyy too fast. Typical Type A personality.

I don't really like the outdoors. I garden, bbq, etc.....but camping, hiking, etc...bugs! are not my thing. I've been on a few camping trips but spent more time bitching than becoming "one" with nature. I just don't get the whole concept of sleeping outdoors and on the ground. Some of us aren't wired that way. After one camping trip, my ex-husband told me that I really needed to "learn" to like these activities if not for him, but for the kids. My reply to him was: When you learn to like spending 3 hours shopping in Macy's with me, I will learn to like camping. WE never "camped" again. He took the boys with out me......Again, I truely believe there is a God!

I have a terrible fear of heights and water.......I also hate bridges. My two fears combine and become one. My worst, reoccuring nighmare always has to do with a bridge......and it really goes nowhere except down.......into the water. Yeah, that is usually the time I wake up sweating and yelling. It's a very wierd yet real dream that thankfully only happens now and then. Escalators are also becoming part of the mix. My grandmother had this strange phobia and as I am getting older, I developing it as well, very rapidly. I am now using either the stairs or elevators on my Macy's, 3 hour shopping binges.

Speaking of Macy's. Besides my mortage company and the grocery store, Macy's gets a lot of my money. I am a clothes whore and I seriously need to address this behaviour/addiction and deal with it. I no longer have anymore room for clothes. I stated my birthday was last Friday. What did I get from my kids, parents and brother? Macy's gift cards. I went shopping on the Fourth of July.....early...yes, I am being Patriotic and all. Shopping is one of America's favorite pastimes and I bought....more clothes. I did a very patriotic act that day.....I fueled our economy.

Over the past 5 years, I have been a single mom. I am not saying it has been an ideal situation but I have made the best of it because I HAVE HAD to. I have made many mistakes but have learned greatly from them. Kids do not come with Owner's Manuals and you just try and give it your best. Sometimes I feel my kids will ultimately be my early death. This is because of the worry I suffer. I am constantly worring about their well being and safety.

I have found someone who has truely made me very happy and that loves me for me. Sure, I can piss him off.........I excell at pissing people off. But, he loves me for me. I also broke one of his rules.....or should I say two of his rules. He always said he would never date a woman with a teenage son. Well, I have two. Yes, they are quite protective of their mother and I take this as a compliment, but they see that I am happy and they like Sweetie. No, he isn't trying to take the place of their own father. He only butts in when he feels it is completely neccessary and usually for my benefit.

I am closing my caffe` at the end of the month. I am going back to school in August. I was supposed to start school in April but have prolonged it due to the fact that this has been a very hard and heartbreaking decision for me to make. But, my landlord been pissing me off lately and has helped me make this decision easier. I am also trying to get on with the State of California in some capacity. My re-hab counselor (physical.........not mental.......) has told me that I will most definitely hate the position offered and that I am over-qualified, but to get on, finish my degree and move on. I know I am going to hate cubicles, gaggles of gossipy women and fattening pot lucks. Due to physical inertia, I most likely will have to join a gym. I am still going to cater parties because the money is good..........and I enjoy it...........and my kids will still be employed.

So, there you have it..........a few, long winded things about me because I know you were dying to know!

Ciao.......have a great and safe weekend,
Angie