My day has not gone the greatest. I have so many incomplete projects.....part of me doesn't even want to complete them. I need to, yes, I am completely aware of that. I should fold the laundry and clear the table so sweetie has a place to eat. But, there is tomorrow and I worked my behind off yesterday going through 20+ years of accumulation. My house is so torn apart that I can't even find my glasses. Guess, I will be wearing contacts tonight unless they miraculously appear.

But the strangest thing happened a few minutes ago..........I got a blast from my past. A phone call from out of nowhere that sent chills through my body, a lump in my throat and a rush of emotions that I thought were buried so deep inside of me with hopes of never resurfacing. It was Joey. Joseph, in his professional circle, Joey to his friends, family, me and his wife. Yes, his wife.

Joey worked part time, as a second income, for the same company I did several years ago. In fact, a close relative of his, a relative of his started the company; later another relative took it over. The company was a family/friend based establishment where we shared a few things in common: Dysfunction and crazy Italian behavior.........(see every stereo-typical sitcom ever created).

See, Joey was handsome and charming, very handsome and charming and he came into my life at the most opportune time for HIM. I was separating after 16 years of marriage and he was miserable in his. So, needless to say, we "accidentaly" stumbled upon eachother. Yes, on my part, I will admit was accidental. I seriously never saw it coming. But, I was so wrapped up in my life changes that I probably, at that time, would not have seen nor heard a screaching ambulance behind me.

But, it did happen. We started off as friends, we worked together, so, of course, we had to get along. But, we were friends. He would help me with events that I did and afterwards, we would talk. He, unlike my soon to be ex, actually listened and seemed interested in what I was saying. He also remembered conversations and little stupid tid bits I shared with him for many years. He was so unlike ex...........He was bossy (not that I am not), oppinionated (not that I am not), and demanding (ditto). But, he challenged me. I am very competitve and I do like a good fight......This one, however, I lost!

I caved to that man like I have never caved before. My poor current sweetie, who is so great to me, who loves me so much, it took that poor man 3 months before I would accept an invitation to dinner. Well, I learned something. I do have to thank Joey for being such a great mentor on how to get your heart stomped. I, also, was the perfect student, naive, gullible, lonely, and severly depressed, at that time. But, if it wasn't him, it would have been some other fool. Clearly, at that time, I wasn't thinking. I was a mess, an emotional mess and very weak. Probaly the first time in my life I would admit to being weak.

He called today. It was the strangest thing to happen to me in a long time. And, I was so proud of myself! Oh, so very proud. He bascially made small talk and I just listened. I never really asked any questions because that would imply that I cared. How can you REALLY care about someone who stomped your heart? Yes, I am sure deep down inside. I still care for my ex-husband even though, at times, (many times, I might add,) I have visualized pinning him up against a wall with my SUV. Yes, I still have one. Boy # 1 drives it mostly. I, personally, hate SUV's, they are certainly not made for small people!

I never gave him any indication that I want to reconnect in any way, shape or form. It's done. I have moved on to such a better place. I really wish he could. He stays in a loveless marriage for all the wrong reasons. Money, I believe is probably the greatest motivator. I am sure the kids factor in as well, somehow. But, he was always about money, money, money. I, however, I want love and happiness (Al Green, I believe).........guess, I am a true romantic......nothing else matters more to me than ending the day with the one(s) you love. Old clique`......money sure as hell doesn't buy one happiness.