IL Gallo

IL Gallo (it is a small "L" but the genius, font wizzard has made the I (capital) and l (lower case ) too similar to figure out) ..

I was going through some old journals and short stories I wrote many years ago, and stumbled on one of my favorites. I used to work in an Italian owned company that specialized in many things related to either the Italian-American culture or Italy in general. Mainly, it specialized in dysfunction. That is another story in itself.

But, we carried this beautiful Italian pottery which is not exactly cheap. You can get "Made in China" knockoffs, but the real deal is exquisite and spendy.

IL Gallo, damn, I hate that l or L, means: The Rooster in Italian. Also, IL Gallo is basically the cornerstone, for lack of better words,or associated with Florenzia, Toscano.....Florence, Italy. The rooster is everywhere!
Ok, so in this country we also, sometimes call a rooster a cock, right???? (HMMMM , you thought that was only male genitlia slang? No, Rooster!)

This is a true story. Names have been changed but it is true.

At that time, I recently had separrated with my husband, weighed, oh about, 94 pounds...wet, and was a complete emotional mess. I was also involved in another unhealthy relationship. Damn, I sure can pick them. But, I loved my job and mainly my customers. However, elderly Italian folk can really get on your nerves. Unfortunately, mainly the women. I can say this, because I am one of them. We are demanding, out-spoken, (see Everyone Love's Raymond mother) and sometimes just pain in the asses because we can be. My mother nick-named me PIA many years ago for the last quoted reason.

Ok, so these elderly people come in to look for water pitchers. They just have remodeled their kitchen and they want a water pitcher to sit on one of their counters. They have measured the space, precisely between the counter and the cupboard that hangs above. They are looking, and lo and behold, she goes for the cock! (the rooster pitcher). Unfortunately, she goes for the "country blue 80's" cock and not the bright red, yellow and every other bright color Italy is known for.

They come up to me and ask me several questions which, seriously, I was surprised by. Usually, elderly Italians, or those that I had contact with, would normally "haggle" about the price. It always amazed me how they still are on the bartering system and the reason why I jacked up prices because I knew I would end up giving a discount. It was always a win win situation.

Anyway, they now go up to friend who worked with me and still works for me, Michaela, and want to know the height, or measurement of the rooster/cock. I start laughing and look at Michi and say......."didn't you measure the cock?" Remember, they want to make sure it fits between counter and cupboard.

She just looks at me and amazingly, contains herself. I, however, I am in my glory because I need some comic relief. I tell the couple that, off the top of my head the rooster/cock is about ten/eleven inches tall.

So, I go to my boss to get a ruler. He asks what I need a ruler for and I tell him I am going to measure a cock for some couple. He's from Italy and his eyes get huge. "What????" I tell him, again, "I need to measure a cock." He just looks at me like, whatever.

Now a line of customers have formed at the counter. Most of which just want to pay for their lunch and head back to their cubicle at some government job. Only one woman, a regular customer seems to be paying attention to this game.

So, I take out the ruler and I measure the cock. He only comes in at:::::::: 8 inches.

The mister was very surprised by the noted smallness of the rooster and says to me: " I would have sworn he was at least 12" high."

I could not resist. I just looked at him and said: "That is because you all lie."

The couple didn't get it. Michaela just walked away and the regular customer of mine, nearly spit her lunch out in laughter. I had fun. Sometimes, you just have to put forth the effort to smile and laugh. No, this was not at the expense of another. I am sorry, that was too easy. They kinda walked into that one and I sure, to this day, still do not know what we found so funny.