Stero-types

I just found out that I am a stereo-typical, vindictive woman whose has sunk to an all time low. (Me thinks, he's been finally looking at the papers I served HIM). Now, if someone's intentions, even and including, someone you once loved and shared a life and two kids with, was trying to take away, or at the very least, force the sale of you home and one automobile that your kid uses for college....would you not come out of the bag?

Would you not do everything you could, with in your power and legal limit to prevent this?

Would you go after everything you are entitled to from your marriage?

So, my question is......what makes me so different? I am sure that most people would have answered "yes" to all of the above questions. I am protecting my kids' and my future. What is so wrong or vindictive with that? I seriously need some "neutral" advise. Please feel free to give! The more, the better. It will help me form a rational opinion of my actions and perhaps, just maybe, make me see things from a different perspective. I dunno......but help would greatly appreciated.

I once truly, truly loved that man and seriously thought we would have a lifetime together. Every couple has ups and downs in their relationship but I firmly believe that my marriage was so one-sided. He lived his dreams and did whatever he chose even at the expense of his family. I finally had enough and asked him to leave.

I think the day that I realized it was never going to work was when I sat him down after puting the kids to bed and tried pouring my heart and soul out to him. We seriously needed a talk and perhaps, counseling. But, he fell asleep on me.....not just once, but twice! I am really not that boring of a person. In my field, you have to have a personality and be able to talk with people. Sweetie and I talk for hours.....he listens and retains.

I now am living my dream....owning my own business and that, as well as depriving me from finishing my education, is something that he also is trying to take away. He thinks that the "family support" he is required to pay will only help "finance" my business. He even had the nerve, and I refuse to say "balls," to tell our oldest son that I owe so many people money and that many people have "bank rolled" my business.

He then told my son that once my inherrited property was sold that we were going to be broke because I owed so many people money. I would like to meet these people. I did it all on my own. Yes, in the beginning, when I first started, he did help me out with a few house payments. He said he would because HE SAID he wanted to help me......no strings attached there!

He's a musician and a very talented one at that. But, his weekend-warrior career came before everything. When he was not working at his "day gig," he was playing on the weekends. OOOps...forgot about those practices during the week. On the weekends, after coming home well after 2:00 AM, he slept a good portion of the next day. Forty + year olds do not have the same bounce back time as they did when they were in their 20's.........grow up!

This lead to neglect!!!!! Neglect for me, his kids and his house. Oh, my the house. I am looking at the very least, $30k in repairs. That would just get in up to being "saleable." If he chooses this route, he will be forced to pay half of all expenses. However, I won't "front" the money and wait for repayment upon selling my home. He's going to have to take out a loan to finance his share. I am fighting for this home! My home! My kids' home! Damn, it!

Reasons:

I live in a great neighborhood....low crime, close to everything and in the heart of a major city. (Not into the country nor burbs). I like living close to restaurants and shopping.......

My kids grew up here.

Remodeling.....oh, my.........what can be done!!!!!! A ton......it has so much "Old World" charm and style you can not find any longer.

And, I am sorry. It's mine. I made the home for this family. I did!

Also, I don't want to move....hell no! That takes way too much effort. I would rather see my whole house torn apart and gutted than have to move.

I have a hard time rationalizing why someone would want to uproot their kids, pets, etc.........and force them to move. The only reason I can come up with is a monetary issue. I have equity and live in a nice, desirable neighborhood.

Well, stereo-types in a divorce run on both sides. Obviously, the woman is viewed as a money hungry, out for blood bitch....and hmmmmm let's see, his stereo-type? Well, he's now a dead beat dad (4 months in the rears with child support). He rarely sees his kids, only when it's convenient for him and now has traded his kids in for his wonderful, sweet, loving, girlfriend, that, according to him......"So unlike you, Angie........."

Thank you! I heard she isn't too stacked in the personality department. I hope she makes you happy. I really do. Even with all of your faults and all the hurt you have caused me throughout the years, I hope you find happiness. I just wish it wasn't at the expense of you children!!!!!!!