Why Do You Blame Me for You? Why?

You hear all of the excuses as to why someone can't possibly do something. They will never, nor can not take ownership for their own shortcomings. There is always an excuse. The monopolied (sure it not even a word) excuse in my family tends to be ME!

Now, I am pissed. I look at all of the things I am fighting for and I seriously wonder why? I do love my boyz but I am pissed. Pissed off at the fact, that oldest boy is just lazy and is blowing off school and the youngest, whom I may add, has always been an almost straight A student is doing the same. I seriously wonder why I go out on a limb for these two? Seriously! Damn!

I feel my youngest is just rebellious and "is acting out." He is just blowing off stuff and I really feel he has a weed issue. Something I called him on earlier, which he could not confirm nor deny. When someone does not confirm my suspisions, I am sorry, I got my answer. It is usually confirmed. A yes. These kids have been brought up to NOT lie to me. I will serve your head to you on a silver platter if you choose this route. Yes, I have done the pee test.....another story.....and yes, I do know he does "indulge"......"to take the edge off." He has confessed. Something, I know is blamed on me (as well as his father, but can't tell him that). I hate divorce and family break-up. I hate it! I hate what it does to kids. They are the ones, truely, suffering. They may not tell you? But actions speak WAY louder than words.

Boy#1: HMMMMMMMMMM read older post! Rerun! He is just lazy and only cares about himself and how things affect him. His dad is waiting (my world: BEGGING) for him to screw up and not pay half of his college tuition. Well, he sure as hell is giving his "father" ammunition! Go to school AND do your assigned work. Easy. Guaranteed, you WILL pass the class.

Soon-to -be ex: Don't blame me for YOU not having a relationship with your kids!!!!! Stop! Tiresome and Done! Just stop. You had plenty of time........hmmmmmm, almost 19 years? I was also taking care of my parents house for 18 months and you were only ASKED to spend time with them 2 days out of the week and I WAS"NT HERE!!!!!!

You should have taken advantage of it instead of not showing up or showing up late because SUGAR MAMMA or band was more important!!!!!! Seriously, don't blame me because you can't (or I should say: WON"T ) get involved. Your excuse? "But, your there with them and ALWAYS in their face." Duh!!!!! I am raising them,. Where are you? I am sorry, I usually don't cuss toooooo much when I write...... notice the word write and not speak............MotherFucker! That is all I can say. He is just so wrong!

I went to a chrroiparcter today. I have been having this weird tingling in my finger sand elbow and really can't move that well. I have 3 pinched nerves.......one major due to a slipped disk........I knew I had that. I didn't want to go to the "doctor" because alls he wants to do is give me drugs. I don't do drugs. Sorry.

To health: Salud!!!!!!!! I swear, when this all over with, I am so outta here! Italia?????? Yes, you await me! To hell with my house and resposnsibilities! It's all about me, baby. Yes, I know that attitude, as I type with a left hand in brace and ice on my lefrt sholdure, will change tomorrow. But for now? I am SOOOOOO outta of here.

Mizz Angela has left the building! Boyz? Don't even try and call her numerous time. I don't have international on my cell. You do have another parent. Use him. Use him for all he's worth. My world? That would be nothing. EWWWWWW.............Damn, see I have to stay! I have to stay because, well they at least need one parent! Damn! I am really sooooo screwed.

Poor Sweetie.............he just called to tell me he will be here shortly. I just informed him that I am PISSED. The nice thing? He will let me vent for days on this subject. I started earlier and his initial reply was that kids take everything for granted and ARE selfish! But, in his infamous words: You spoiled them just like I spoiled mine. You only have yourself to blame. I do love real men. He is right! Damn!

Damn, I love that man! Thank you, Guardian Angel, Saint Joseph, whomever, my Grand Ma's? For sending me someone who truely cares about me! Ciao! Angela...........